The CUMTD is more than just your average public bus service. UIUC is blessed with a wide variety of students and staff, many of whom have different sexual peccadilloes that sometimes leave the bedroom. So, let’s say you’re into getting tied up and you have the sudden urge to do it on the bus. The Black Sheep is here to show you seven creative ways to get the job done with any household rope, tie, scarf or package of zip-ties.
6.) Tie Your Hair to The Pull Cord:
This method kills two birds with one stone. You can get your hair pulled and get tied up at the same time. This proves to be a bit of a challenge depending on the length of your hair, but if you have a decent pony tail, you’re in the clear. Tension will rise with every stop after you get a little tug on the head.
5.) Tie Your Hands to The Hanging Hand Loops:
This is a more exciting take on the traditional and overused tying of the wrists to the headboard of a bed. Not being able to move your hands leaves you vulnerable to all of the people on the bus. Who knows what they’ll do…Push you, tickle you or even tease you? The suspense is bound to make you drip drop, drop top down your leg.
4.) Tie Your Backpack to The Seat:
Sometimes this is voluntary and sometimes it isn’t, but it’s thrilling nonetheless. Put your really pointless waist buckles in between the seats and try to stand up at every bus stop. It’ll be like the times you’ve been in the middle of a deep thrust you couldn’t escape. Do this with empty seats on both sides, as the down-up motion may harm people around you on impact.
3.) Tie Your Feet Around a Standing Pole:
If this doesn’t make you scream “Oh, baby!” then nothing in this life will. You can get the thrill of being a pole dancer at Silver Bullet on a simple ride to class. This tactic leaves a little room for interpretation, but the pole is yours for the taking.
2.) Tie Your Legs to Opposite Sides of The Back Row:
Sexy, sultry, anything but subtle is the way to go. Advertising your sexual availability for strangers is such a turn on. Go ahead and spread that eagle to reap the benefits.
1.) Tie a Bow on Yourself While Sitting on a Seat:
At the end of the day, the kinkiest thing you can have is confidence. Knowing that you’re a gift to the peasants of Champaign is key. People put big bows on cars, puppies and other useless gifts. This is inviting someone ride the curves of the 22N directly on your lap. If you happen to be on the other end, nothing gets an engineering nerd sprung like a round backpack in their face.
Come on Illini, don’t get tied up in the books or bars; find yourself a good ol’ CUMTD and get kinky with it.
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