One of the worst things about coming home for the summer is finding a place open after 9 p.m for you and your friends to try sobering up before going home. You aren’t looking for anything healthy or necessarily good, just something to soak up every mistake that was made and ease you into a hangover. Luckily, Berwyn has catered to our needs with some great locations to grab a bite on your drunkest night.
You can’t go wrong with getting pizza. Everyone loves it, especially at 5 bucks a slice, and by slice we actually mean 1/4 of the za. It’s a steal, but only if you’re willing to see every. single. person. you went to high school with, so long as you’re too hammered to recognize anyone. Their dough is so thicc that it can probably beat Bounty paper towels in an absorption contest, so you’ll definitely sober up quickly. WARNING: cheese may cause choking due to extreme stretching lengths.
4.) Wing Boss:
Now we know what you’re thinking, did they mean to say WingStop? Nope, this place exists. The owners got reallllllly creative with their name by switching up one word, but it’s likely you won’t even notice the difference in your inebriated state. You can be a true wing connoisseur and get them bone-in, or go boneless for a pile of glorified chicken nuggets. Wings can be messy, but it’s easier to accept barbeque stains on your Lululemon once you’ve had eight shots at Doc Ryan’s.
3.) Mr. Submarine:
It’s all in the name, baybeeee. Mr. Sub’s has been satisfying customers with their lonnnnngg sammys for years, and size definitely matters. Nobody’s quite sure when this place actually closes since no human has actually seen this happen. If a sandwich isn’t cutting it for you and your drunchies, they’ve always got the fryers revved and ready. Deep fried goods will surely make you forget about that stomach ache or throbbing headache in no time.
The rubbery meat from this sub-par taco spot really soothes your drunken fix. You’ll be chewing your meat for so long that eventually you’ll forget where you’re at, or why you were even out for the night. Whoops. After your jaw’s sore, cool off with a cold horchata you’ve spiked with any extra booze from the night. If tacos aren’t your thing, you can try some soup to give yourself a ~homey~ feeling even though you probably have no idea how you’re getting home.
1.) Sushi Junki:
After a long night of being trashy, why not get classy? But don’t think you’ll keep this up for too long, because your job after your meal is to actually keep it down. That fatty tuna is bound to make an encore appearance after mingling with the night’s liquor. If you’re not ready to give up on the night, order some Sake too.
The summer’s almost over, but that doesn’t mean it’s time to give up on a successful night out. These places will do a great job at topping your night off, regardless if you’re able to remember it down the road.
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