It’s hard to compose your emotions when you’re battling being a day closer to graduation, especially with the assignments your professors throw on top of that. So it’s really important that students find a healthy way to expel these feelings into something socially acceptable. We don’t want you to embarrass yourself more than you already do, so here are The Black Sheep’s top seven places to cry in camouflage at UIUC.
7.) Main Floor of the UGL:
This is one of the most ideal, sober, places to cry on campus. The main floor of the UGL is filled with sorority girls already crying about Brendan not asking Deborah to Barn Dance for the third time in a row because he decided to go home for the weekend. So, if you’re crying over homework you’ll look like a James Scholar and get off embarrassment-free.
6.) ARC Sauna:
Imagine this: You’re sitting there in your swimsuit after a few laps in the pool and all of the sudden you remember that you’re in your early 20s. The sauna is one of the only places you can silent cry without anyone noticing, it’s obviously just your eyes sweating along with the rest of the swine looking bodies next to you.
5.) Red Lion Women’s Bathroom:
If you’re crying and you need emotional support ASAP, you need to hit up The Red Lion. Two steps into the bathroom and you’ll have tissues, hand sanitizer and extra birth control offered freely. This is where everyone is welcomed to Kim K. ugly cry and still make three new Facebook friends in different Greek houses.
4.) Engineering Advising Office:
If engineers were to show emotion, this would be the perfect place for it. Here you’re guaranteed a state-of-the-art emotional experience. Crying in some of the most expensive buildings on campus is almost resume worthy. Since engineers are usually socially awkward no one will think anything of someone sobbing, especially in the advising office.
3.) In a Parked Car in Urbana:
Angry criers, this is your place. The Urbana side of campus is so quiet that you can park a car just about anywhere and scream for as long as you want. It would suck to get a parking ticket for crying, so throw your hazards on and bang on the steering wheel while you sit in a tear-infested driver’s seat.
2.) English Building Bathroom:
For an uplifting cry, go to the English Building and make a B-line to the bathroom. There you can find emotionally supportive phrases and quotes lining the stalls in hopes to relieve some teenage angst that has unfortunately followed people into the real world. We guarantee you’ll think you’re beautiful after reading it 700 times while you sit there and cry helplessly on the toilet.
1.) Outside of Any Fraternity House:
The brothers of Cry Baby Phi don’t care if anyone is sobbing on their lawn, it happens every day. They’re either crying because they spent $3,000 at a bar battle or making girls cry because they spilled their whiskey coke all over Lisa’s new Adidas and KAM’s.
Since UIUC is one of the top public schools and party schools in the nation it’s okay to cry pretty much anywhere, but if you want to blend in just stick to the list.