Local frat star, Will Chuck, had a tragic realization as he got off the 22N in front of the ARC on Monday.
“I just didn’t have the familiar sensation of my veins pumping extra blood throughout my body and my penis,” Chuck explained while pointing at his unimpressive junk. “That’s when it hit me: I forgot to take my pre-workout powder that morning.”
Chuck usually pounds his Creatine pre-workout every morning in a large plastic shaker bottle with a metal stirrer thingy, so that everyone in his 8 a.m. lecture knows that he works out.
“I order this really good shit from China, it’s like mixed with 100% pure protein and the jizz from a wild, endangered rhinoceros who has won several mating duels,” Chuck proudly boasted while flexing in his frat tank. “And it’s Double-Stuf Oreo flavored!”
However, when Chuck arrived at the ARC that fateful Monday morning, there was no Oreo flavored rhinoceros ejaculate in his stomach. He was forced to continue his workout anyway.
“When I got down to the weight room and gave a friendly grunt to my fellow swole ARC-basement dwellers, I was pretty nervous that they’d be able to tell I hadn’t gotten my pre-worky on,” Chuck remembered. “I walked over to the squat rack and had to do one less set than usual. It was so embarrassing. My masculinity was completely shattered.”
Chuck is confident that he’ll never forget to take his pre-workout again. He immediately ordered three more containers of his favorite powdered muscle enhancer, this time in Double Strawberry, Butternut Crème Brule, and Marshmallow Honey Surprise flavors.
Drunk people say the darndest things: