Semiformal SZN is one of the most stressful times of the year for Greek Life members at the University of Illinois. Getting drunk and sweaty in fancy clothes at a fancy location (while drinking not-so-fancy alcohol) with that special someone is the epitome of romance. Before you can enjoy all the perks of semi, you have to go through the pain and suffering of finding someone willing to drunkenly hook up in the Soma bathroom with you. Here are some easy and only slightly desperate strategies to consider when triple texting your potential date:
7.) Show Your Potential Date How Confident You Are:
Don’t even bother asking your date to be your date. Just let them know when and where they should be in three simple texts because you’re not taking no for an answer. Plus, you can’t seem desperate if you technically never asked them in the first place.
6.) Overuse the Word “Chill”:
The best way to seem chill is to use the word “chill” at least three times when asking your potential date to semiformal. You don’t want to sound too excited, but you still want them to think you’re like, a really cool, really chill person who cares but doesn’t care too much. How else are they going to know how ~chill~ you are?
5.) Let Your Potential Date Know You Have Many Options:
Even though you have ABSOLUTELY no other options, you can’t let your potential date know that you’re depending on them to save you from the embarrassment of being dateless at your own semiformal. Telling them how many other people are interested in being your date will force them to jump at the opportunity before it’s too late. Be sure to emphasize that you have a lot of other options. A lot.
4.) Include the Phrase “I’m Not Desperate” in Your Desperate Text:
Although you are desperately scrambling to find a date to your semiformal, a few simple texts saying, “Hey I’m not desperate but will you please be my date to semiformal?” will definitely convince your potential date that you are, in fact, not desperate. Except you totally are.
3.) Make Your Potential Date Think it Was Their Idea:
It’s called reverse psychology, homeboy, and you’re going to master it. Your twisted manipulation tactics will guarantee you a date to semiformal without having to beg someone you don’t even like that much to go with you.
2.) Distract From Your Desperation With a Poem or Joke:
When in doubt, ask your potential date to semiformal in a way that’s so off-putting and strange that they won’t even be thinking about how desperate you really are. Who doesn’t love someone with a sense of humor?
1.) Have Your Mom Text Your Potential Date for You:
Much like high school Homecoming dances, semiformals shouldn’t be taken too seriously, but totally are. This is a life or death situation! Put yourself out there, just not TOO far out there.