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U of I Geed Girl Hates Sororities, to Attend Greek Reunion

At the start of every school year, UIUC women can be seen walking with a purpose throughout Champaign-Urbana to each sorority house for formal recruitment. Jenna Johnson, UIUC sophomore, decided that being in a sorority just wasn’t for her, but that’s not stopping her from going to Greek Reunion.


“I could just never be in a sorority,” Johnson said. “I’m just not basic enough and I also hate girls, but if I did rush I just know that I would definitely be a Tri Pi.”


Despite this, Johnson decided that there was no way she was missing out on the biggest event of the summer for UIUC students, Greek Reunion.


“Bryce Michaels in Beta Sigma has been Snapchatting me all summer about going to Greek Reunion, so I just like, have to go,”  explained Johnson. “Beta Sigma is like totally a top house, not that I even care, though. Greek life is stupid.”


Michaels is looking forward to bro-ing out with his Beta Sigma brothers at Greek Reunion this year, despite his constant courting of Johnson.


“Jenna? Oh yeah, I think I met her at the pregame we had with her roommate’s sorority that she tagged along to,” Michaels explained. “I mean, she has to know I’m saying the same exact thing to 20 other girls I Snapchat right?”


Whether Johnson ends up hooking up with Michaels or not, she’s mainly excited to go back to her favorite place on U of I’s campus, The Red Lion as an independent, unaffiliated woman.


“I can’t wait to be back at TRL!” Johnson exclaimed, “I’m taking 5 tequila shots as soon as I walk in and it’s going to be just like Block, I think. Block is lame, I heard, though.”


Johnson will be seen sipping on a vodka water lime while dancing on the tables at The Red Lion this year at Greek Reunion from bar open to bar close gazing at sorority girls, who she’s totally not jealous of now. 

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