If there’s one thing IU students know how to do, it’s drink. A Hoosier can out-drink their friends from other schools all day, any day. But along with the copious amounts of poison student’s at IU consume on a regular basis comes a strong need for delicious food to satisfy their drunk cravings. Don’t worry, Hoosiers, these fine establishments have you covered until you pass out at 3 a.m. from ripping too many Vegas Bombs.
10.) Hoosier Den: Because even freshman need some nourishment when they’re stumbling home from a frat party where they didn’t know anyone. Indiana kindly opens up the Gresh cafeteria for them and serves some late night pizza, nachos, and beverages (non-alcoholic of course).
9.) Bloomington Bagel Company: For the mornings you wake up still drunk from the previous night’s festivities or have a raging hangover, Bloomington Bagel is a must. Try their hangover bagel and crawl back into bed.
8.) Taco Bell: You will absolutely regret this the next day, but while drunk and searching for food, stuffing your face with late night Taco Bae has never sounded so good.
7.) Baked! Cookies: This is not for nights where you are blacked, which are most nights at Indiana, because ordering Baked! can be a bit complicated with all of the cookie combinations to choose from. But when you are in a functional enough drunken state of mind to handle creating your order, these cookies are the best things to ever happen to you.
6.) Jimmy John’s: The perfect drunk food to soak up your Water Long Islands, whether you get a sandwich or simply eat your heart out on 50-cent bread. Right next door to Dunkirk, you can grab it on your way to Sport’s or call one of the sexy bike riders to deliver.
5.) Pizza X: The only pizza in Bloomington that matters. Order you and your friends a Big X Bargain and pass out in the pizza box satisfied. Bonus, if you’re bringing home someone you could’ve sworn was a total 10, just ask and they’ll throw in one of their variety of colored condoms for you. Practice safe sex, Hoosiers. Just do yourself a favor and never eat this pizza sober. And also, I wouldn’t completely trust their condoms.
4.) Gyros Truck: It’s pronounced “euros” but the kind workers won’t refuse you service for pronouncing the G. Cheap and delicious, you can’t go wrong here.
3.) Roy’s Breadsticks: These breadsticks are actually famous, or at least they should be. Stuffed with mozzarella and pepperoni and served with marinara and nacho dipping sauce, they are an orgasm in your mouth.
2.) Big Cheeze Truck: The Big Cheeze is MVP of all drunk food in Bloomington. It’s safe to say that they are heaven on Earth, proof that there is a god. They are perfectly located right across the street from Kilroy’s, so you can simply stumble out the front door and grab a Mac Daddy without your brain having to decipher what’s happening.
1.) Mad Mushroom: R.I.P. to the greatest cheesy bread of all time. You will remain forever in our alcohol-infused hearts and stomachs.
So drink away Hoosiers, go hard, and be assured that you can find any and all of your drunken cravings when hunger strikes.