German Immigrant Steals Job from American Microbrewer

author-pic at Iowa State  

Recently, America’s largest producer of beer, Budweiser, released yet another tear-jerking Super Bowl commercial. This year, however, the damage of Budweiser’s commercial extends far beyond the emotional heartbreak of a lost puppy befriending Clydesdales.

Budweiser’s Super Bowl 51 commercial shed a grotesque light on what was once regarded as America’s favorite beer. The commercial let the proud citizens of America in on Budweiser’s dirty little secret—the company was founded by an immigrant. This means that since 1876, German immigrant Adolfus Busch has been ripping the business from the hands of American microbrewers.

“The damn immigrants have gone far enough. All I’ve wanted in this lifetime is to earn an honest living making beer, but these damn immigrants just can’t let Americans live out the American dream,” Chicago microbrewer Miguel Zaragoza explained.

“Money that deserves to be in the hard-working hands of American citizens is being stolen by this huge-ass corporation. Which is fine, we’re used to it. But not if it’s ran by a bunch of immigrants. Hell no,” Texan microbrewer Steven Davis commented.

Microbrewers nationwide are outraged by the unveiling of Budweiser’s not-so-American origins. When asked if this new information regarding Budweiser’s background would change the way he felt about the company, Zaragoza decided “In our eyes, everyone that works for Budweiser is now an immigrant. Technically.”

Microbrewers nationwide hope that raising awareness for this situation will help to shut down what they once viewed as America’s most American beer and return jobs in the beer industry back to where the belong—American hands.