Like any college town, finding an IC eatery where you can satisfy your drunchies without breaking the bank is a challenge. After extensive ground research, The Black Sheep has compiled a list of the five best places on or near campus to sate your inebriated cravings for $3 or less.
5.) Mesa Pizza on Tuesdays and Wednesdays:
Out on the town with a friend/lover/enemy and craving a hot carb? Split the check with Mesa’s March deal—two slices for $6 (that’s $3 each, theatre majors). As a colorful surrealist mural gazes menacingly down at you while Katy Perry blasts from the speakers, piles of gooey mac and cheese pizza will compound in your colon whilst piles of cash remain in your wallet.
4.) Pancheros’ Chips and Guac:
Tbh, this incredibly mediocre Tex Mex chain is overpriced. However, you can fill your belly with chips and guac for a whopping $3, which seems cheap when you’re under the influence!! For the same price—and not for the faint-of-stomach—you can replace guac with queso, a.k.a. liquid lactose.
3.) Noms at Hamburg:
This staff writer has oft waxed poetic about the jewel of the Midwest, Hamburg Inn No. 2. A great menu item to share with a friend is the sweet, cinnamony sweet potato pancakes for $3.89. If you’re really hungry and really on a budget, you can get two bowls of gravy for only $2.58! What a bargain!
2.) Bruegger’s Bagels (they serve bagels here):
Bruegger’s Bagels, a.k.a. Great Value Einstein Bros, serves decent bagels for relatively cheap. If you’re a basic ho, you can get a cinnamon sugar bagel with cream cheese for $1.40. If you’re a spicy ho, you can get jalapeño cream cheese on pumpernickel for the same price. If you’re just a ho, you can get like a plain bagel with peanut butter or something, we don’t give a fuck.
1.) A Piece of Celery from B-Dubs:
If you’re broke and hankering to shed some pounds, Buffalo Wild Wings is the place for you! A single, four-inch piece of celery costs a mere $2.99 at the Old Cap Mall B Dubs. For only $5 more, you can add a single chicken wing, fried to perfection! Incredible, and delicious!
These meal options are a surefire way to fill your belly without racking up debt. And, if all else fails, just rummage under the desks in Van Allen Lecture Room 2, and you will find more than a meal’s worth of scrumptious ABC gum!
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