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7 Risky Moves to Make in the AJB Rotunda to Spice Things Up

Looking for a comfy place to study or watch Westworld without the sound on? Then look no further than the AJB Rotunda! As summer approaches, there’s not much time left to take full advantage of this beautiful vestibule. So, here’s 8 risky moves to take in the AJB Rotunda:

7.) Actually talk, like really loud:
It’s always so quiet in the Rotunda, so why not be a rebel? Screech about your hot professor’s ass walking up those steep AJB stairs. Talk about that psychotic bitch stealing all the cups from the Hillcrest Dining Hall. Don’t let those ugly stares get you down! 

6.) Change one of the many TVs to porn:
With all those TVs inside the Rotunda, at least one has to be sexually entertaining. Sneak that reverse cowboy in between Sports Center and the Big 10 Network. Let a rerun of the wave at Kinnick play right next to some super sexy times. Think about all the ass you can get while studying for your professional communication class.

5.) Change ALL of the TVs to porn:
You think you got ass before? Imagine 12 asses all up in your face. You’ve spent a long day spent in the library and you’re dreading the walk up the hill, but what do you see? Sexy times and about 20 other students having the best time. Things can easily get rough in the Rotunda, but in a good way.

4.) Stack all the chairs and tables on top of each to create an abstract Herky:
Saw Poltergeist and now you want to freak the janitor out? Stack all the chairs and desks… but in the shape of a Hawkeye. What better than to clean up leftover chips from the food truck and find the entire room scarily moved around. The janitor would leave the room again to tell someone and then come back and find the desks instead in the shape of a Cyclone. Throwing down his mop, the janitor screams “Fuck State!” and quits.

3.) Building a fort in the back under the desks:
Make the best blanket fort Iowa City has ever seen. All those hardcore studiers will be begging to hang under your blankets. It’s even a better nap space than the relaxation room in the IMU. Eventually, other students will copy the idea and the entire Rotunda will become one big blanket fort city. Iowa fortin’ City, baby.

2.) Cover it entirely in red and yellow sticky notes and blame it on the Cyclones:
Why not pull the ultimate prank and blame it on the school’s rival? The whole room could represent the school we hate and bring all Hawkeyes together as one. Once a light and airy place full of love, it could turn into a bitter Rotunda of hatred. The room could host cock fights and wrestling matches where people who need a good punch can go. Eventually, it’ll become the most loved room for hate.

1.) Have sex against each of the windows… Repeatedly:
There are plenty of windows… plenty of opportunities. Why not spend the time christening the entire Rotunda? Feel like a Hawkeye and fly high up on those hard to reach windows. Feel the sun on your back or the stares of horny freshmen. Moon the bikers parking next to Becker. The world is your oyster.

The Rotunda is the one place where you can make love and war. Love the Hawkeyes, hate the Cyclones, and just be there for the next four years. It’s relaxing, it’s inviting, and it’s a place with plenty of opportunity for exploring the university.

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