University of Iowa sororities are celebrating the sacred and honored tradition of the mother daughter weekend, but bringing your mother to Iowa City may be more difficult than you think. From the decrepit EPB to the 7th layer of Hell, Union Bar, there are so many places that you simply cannot show your sweet mother. The Black Sheep has compiled a list of places you can take your mom that are godly and pure.
5.) Nodo (the Ace Hardware one):
Nodo is a fabulous and comfy sandwich shop in Iowa City, but the downtown location is simply too close to all the drunkards and heathens! Your mother will wonder why there’s a man puking outside of Deadwood across the street as you try to enjoy your sweet potato fries with aioli! Avoid this tragedy by heading to the Nodo attached to the Ace Hardware on North Dodge. You can even shop for wrenches after you’re done eating!
FilmScene is a safe haven that you and your mother can go to in order to avoid the hellish nighttime Ped Mall experience. FilmScene plays weird indie movies that your mom might not understand, but it’s better than her seeing your friends Stephanie and Nathan making out on the Union stage. Plus you’re supporting nonprofit cinema AND you can classily sip wine in the theater!
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3.) College Green Park (before 6 p.m.):
Take a stroll in this beautiful green park just a few blocks away from downtown with your mother, and sit under the pavilion. Breathe in the fresh Iowa City air and enjoy your time together, as long as you go BEFORE 6 p.m.! This part is crucial, because after the sun goes down, this park is filled with people who smoke the devil’s lettuce and litter liquor bottles. Your mom cannot see this. It would change her. She is pure.
2.) Burge Dining Hall:
A fairly empty place now that Catlett’s dining hall reigns supreme, you can avoid a lot of the messy freshman while still enjoying a fresh, pre-prepared meal! Show your mom the waffle machine you use every single day for every meal — what a great bonding experience! Enjoy this time with your mother, but don’t show her that you steal food via large Tupperware containers every single time you visit. NOT godly.
1.) Vue Rooftop:
The Vue Rooftop is as close to God as you can get in Iowa City. Step onto the patio and look over all of downtown, close your eyes and take in all the glory. You may have to drown out screams and sirens down below with casual conversations about your younger siblings back home, but at least you and Mamma are above all the chaos. The only bad part? You have to go back down at the end of the night 🙁
This is a foolproof guide to navigating Iowa City’s sins and only showing your mother the light. The next morning, you can take her to church! However, be sure to shield her eyes from the walk-of-shamers taking their Sunday morning stroll home.
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