Bridgeforth Tailgater Fails to Impress NFL Scout
JMU put on quite the show this past weekend as they rolled over ETSU by a score of 52-10. However, NFL scout John Bakerman was disappointed by the lackluster display of tailgating skills by senior Tim McLellan. Bakerman reported that Tim failed to demonstrate the most basic of skills needed for tailgating at the NFL level.
“This guy only got through like, four or five beers,” Mr. Bakerman wrote in his official report. “Maybe at the FCS level, this would be perfectly acceptable, but, at a NFL tailgate, you will be expected to slam ten beers, minimum.”
The scout later went on to write that Tim simply seemed totally unready for the tailgate ahead of him.
“Man, this guy was totally unprepared for today,” John Bakerman wrote. “His BBQ chicken was cold and didn’t have enough spices on it, his beer lacked any sort of variety, and even his jersey game was off point. It wasn’t even a JMU jersey; it was just a Vikings jersey with the word ‘Madison’ taped to the front of it.”
As a final blow, Bakerman raised serious concerns about Tim’s commitment to the Dukes. The scout observed in horror as Tim got up and left Bridgeforth Stadium at half time. Further confusing Bakerman was the fact that JMU was up 28-7. Mr. Bakerman said that he had never seen such blatant disregard for one’s team.
“Quite frankly, the display put forth in Harrisonburg was embarrassing,” Bakerman wrote in his conclusion. “I would like to give Tim the benefit of the doubt, maybe he just had an off day. However, nothing from today shows me that this was a one-time thing. If he is serious about tailgating at the next level, he will need to bring his ‘A’ game to Bridgeforth next week”.
John Bakerman will return to Harrisonburg next week as the Dukes of JMU takes on the Norfolk State Spartans. The NFL scout has said that he will keep a closer eye on Tim to see if there is any improvement in his tailgating skills. As it stands, however, Bakerman has a hard time seeing Tim tailgating with any team in the NFL next season.