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A Day in the Life of President Alger

Everyone knows our President is Jonathan Alger. However, not many JMU students accurately know what the day in the life of the JMU President looks like. Luckily, here is a completely accurate timeline that details his daily activities.

5:30 a.m.: Attempt to wake up and get an early start to the day.

5:31 a.m.:  Hit the snooze button.

6:00 a.m.:  Wake up.

After a good night’s rest, President Alger is up and ready to face the day.

6:15 a.m.:  Take Duke Dog on his walk.

As with any canine, Duke Dog needs his walks. Being human-sized and bipedal, he takes a bit longer than a normal dog. Nevertheless, President Alger is a responsible owner and makes sure that all the mascot’s needs are met.

7:00 a.m.:  Shower/Shave/Get dressed/Eat breakfast.

President Alger must go through all the same morning rituals that we mortals must do. After all, believe it or not, the President of JMU tends to be a human being.

7:45 a.m.:  Drive to JMU.

8:00 a.m.: Arrive at the President’s office.

8:05 a.m.:  Play with purple and gold fidget spinner.

9:15 a.m.:  Begin to work.

The work of JMU’s President is never easy. President Alger is constantly overwhelmed by all the paper-work. Luckily, his assistants are able to help him by separating the important paperwork from the trivial, such as the opinions of JMU students.

11:15 a.m.: Go to a board meeting.

The JMU Board is a very hands-on group, and they like to be in the know. Topics of these meetings vary and can range from discussing tuition raises, current fundraising efforts, and finding new ways to get students to shut up about parking for once.

12:15 p.m.:  Go to SSC for Lunch.

Now, when President Alger goes to SSC, he doesn’t go to 1908. Instead, he goes to the secret dining hall designed for JMU Presidents, past and present. President Alger’s go-to meal is a medium-rare beef tenderloin garnished with a special low sodium olive oil marinade with a side of Black Sea caviar.

1:15 p.m.: Check ears for maximum shine.

After his lunch, President Alger usually heads to a bathroom to polish those satellite dishes he has for ears.

2:30 p.m.: Oversee construction.

Yes, good. All is going according to plan.

3:30 p.m.:  Resume paper work.

With the day winding down, President Alger spends the final portion of it finishing up all the paperwork he  didn’t want to deal with earlier. This part of the day is especially dull as it mostly involves dealing with unimportant issues that don’t really affect anything, such as zoning laws or recommendations from the Student Government Association.

6:00 p.m.:  Head home.

After a long day of hard work, President Alger heads home for the night.

7:30 p.m.: Relax.

After a long stressful day, the JMU President needs his relaxation time. President Alger likes to unwind by relaxing in his lazy-boy, pulling up his laptop, and watching a security camera feed of students fighting over parking spaces.

9:45 p.m.: Check laptop for an invite from the American Athletic Conference.

Hey, you never know…

10:00 p.m.: Brush teeth and go to bed.

And, thus the day comes to a close for President Alger and the cycle begins anew. The day in the life of JMU’s President is always busy. JMU should be very thankful that it has such a hardworking President. Always make sure to say thanks to President Alger whenever you see him.

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