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5 KU People that Belong on Santa’s Naughty List

 

Christmas is just around the corner! And because we all drift from secular behavior, it’s about that time of year we should be reviewing KU’s naughty list. Plenty of people have made their way onto this extensive list (like, 30,000 people go here), but The Black Sheep has compiled a list of the highlights.

5.) Bernadette Gray-Little:

Naughty, naughty! Our chancellor is stepping down in the summer of 2017, and we are super duper sad to see her leave us. Because of the state she will leave many hopeful KU students in, we have her on our naughty list for sure. The coolest figurehead is about to be gone and we are all having trouble keeping our shit together.

4.) The Bus System:

If you had a dollar for every time you went to the goddamn bus stop thinking, “it won’t be long before one shows up!” and then waited for 30 extra minutes in the brisk-ass Kansas winds, you would be filthy stinking rich. Seriously KU bus system, please explain to us why you schedule five buses to show up in one huge fustercluck at one stop and then ghost all the poor souls at the stop for the next class period? 

3.) Third-Party Voters:

Not to get political or anything, but any third party voters out there who “couldn’t decide”…well, look what the hell you did! It literally does not matter to any of us why you voted for Gary Johnson because you instead elected an adult-sized orange baby who cries while pointing at the television when the big mean man Alec Baldwin puts on that straw cap some might call a wig. Your poor decision-making has built the pathway for a commander-in-chief who wants to boink his daughter. Be ashamed! You’re the worst! Naughty! 

2.) Whoever Decided One-Ply Toilet Paper Was a Good Idea:

In every building across campus, all that is available is one-ply toilet paper, which is frankly so rude. What’s even worse is the rolls are so huge that they don’t rotate very well in the little toilet paper holder, and then every time you try to grab a few pieces, the first one rips off, so you go for another and then the next sheet rips off, and so on and so forth. It’s a real life horror movie, actually, which is why they’re on the naughty list. 

1.) You: 

Sorry to tell you this, but you knew it was coming. You skipped the maximum amount of classes you could in each class before dropping a letter grade, you haven’t called your grandma back in, like, months, you gave that person flirting with you at the Hawk the wrong phone number, and you didn’t pay it forward in the Starbucks drive thru three times in a row. You’re on the naughty list but that’s honestly the least of your problems.

We all get a little naughty sometimes, so don’t be too hard on yourself. Besides, there is always next year to gain a moral compass. 

 

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