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Fuck It, Let’s Rank The Frats

Everyone knows frat guys are the top people on campus, but who’s the best of the best? The Black Sheep is here to rank the hell out of some frats.

1.) Sigma Chi:
Good ol’ Sigma Chi starting out the list. Good for you guys, seriously. You’re out here killing it and we fuckin’ love you guys for it. You deserve to be at the front of the line at every bar. Continue to slay, kings.

2.) Beta Theta Pi:
Fucking Beta Theta Pi makes #2 on the list! What an accomplishment! This is going beautifully, especially since there are no standards here whatsoever. Let’s keep this list moving on.

3.) Phi Delta Theta:
Phi Delta Theta making the top three with no difficulty whatsoever. You guys better be crushing 3 Natty Lights a night until the end of the semester in honor of this bronze medal.

4.) Triangle:
The rest of campus may not appreciate you, but we sure do, which is why you guys are at number 4! Fucking sweet. You’re in the top half of the list and hell yeah that’s a ranking worth bragging about. Print this list out and hang it on your mom’s fridge.  

5.) Sigma Alpha Epsilon:
At the halfway mark we have Sigma Alpha Epsilon for no reason whatsoever. A wise man once said, “if you’re not first, you’re last,” but shit, you guys are proving him wrong by not only avoiding last, but by being in a healthy middle ground. Good for you.

6.) Delta Upsilon:
Ah shit, yeah, the sexy number 6. It’s half of that sex position all of you have definitely tried because this frat fucks. You guys are cool as hell. Do you guys love this list or what? Time to keep it moving.

7.) Sigma Nu:
Sigma Nu is in 7th heaven. You’re not the best, but you’re certainly not the worst. You’re staying alive and loving every minute of it. Your house doesn’t even bother asking “who do you know here,” at parties anymore, because everyone knows you guys.

8) FIJI:
Number 8 is great. How’s it feel to be number 8 on the most prestigious list of the top frats at KU? Wait, don’t say it, we already know it must feel. Really friggity fuckin’ good. Of course it does.

9) Delta Chi:
Number nine and feeling fine!! You should be feeling better than fine though ‘cause you’re on this list. You’re the other half of the sex number. It’s not like you’re the sexy 6, but you’re the nifty 9 and that still gets the job done.

10) Phi Kappa Tau:
Finishing up the list is Phi Kappa Tau! The only thing cooler than this list is hitting up one of these sweet ass bros. You’re at the bottom of the list, but let’s be honest: it’s an honor to be on it at all. God, you guys are cool as hell.

Don’t worry if your house didn’t make the list, you’re still a God among men if you’re in a frat to begin with.

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