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BREAKING: University of Kansas Ranked Worst in Parking for 152nd Year in a Row

 

The University of Kansas has been ranked as the worst college campus for parking for the 152nd year in a row, making it the second worst part of the university after its football team.

KU has secured this ranking due to the ever increasing number of tickets that KU Parking issues, the prices of parking passes, and the excessive demolishing of parking lots that have taken place in the last few years.

“I’m really glad that we’ve been ranked the worst in college parking. I mean, sometimes I do feel a little guilty when I issue tickets to broke college students,” said Kayla Jacobs of KU Parking while ticketing cars in handicapped stalls. “But now I just feel like I’m upholding a tradition!”

While most consider buying parking passes a “rip-off,” the passes bought through KU have been a deciding factor for this campus to remain at the top.

“Yeah the truth is, we actually take the proceeds from parking passes and spend them on deconstructing existing lots so we can keep our ranking,” said director of Student Parking Steven Buscy. “Next we’re planning to get rid of the Rec Center lot and 50 percent of the spots on Daisy Hill.”

The ongoing streak has taken quite a toll on the KU parking staff, putting pressure on them to earn rankings on more elite lists, such as “worst parking on Earth.”

“We’re just trying to gain more publicity for KU. It’s just a plus that we get to roll in cash while we do so,” Buscy said.

Next time you get a ticket for being parked in a yellow lot at 4:52 p.m., take a minute to appreciate your contribution to KU parking being the actual worst.

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