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An Open Letter To The Sad, Confused BBN


Dear BBN,


As we all return to campus this week, our minds are less on school than they were during spring break… It’s March Madness, and it’s in full swing.


For freshmen, it might be a little bit confusing. You are probably extremely confused if you’re out-of-state. Why are people talking about burning couches? Do these people not have morals? Well, to be honest, when it comes to this time of the year, we put all that stuff behind us. This is UK basketball. This is why half the in-state students came here. We live for this. We eat, sleep, and breathe UK basketball.


But let’s not get carried away just yet, BBN. This is only the Sweet Sixteen, and we’re Kentucky. We don’t hand out rings for making it this far. (We also don’t kiss our sons on the mouth, but that’s a story for a different time.) Since the tournament expanded to 64 teams, Kentucky has made it to the second weekend 20 times. Excellence here is expected.


For upperclassmen, there’s responsibility to teach the freshmen how it’s done to keep our tradition alive. If it weren’t for our fans and students being as crazy as they are, our team wouldn’t be what they are. So if we make it through the weekend, go crazy. Burn couches, smash bottles, flip over cars, do whatever you gotta do, just let our team know how much we love them.


Now the important part: trash talking. If you see anyone one campus this week wearing Duke or Louisville gear, please clown on them. Be subtle at first, maybe ask them if they need a ride to Goodwill to donate their clothes. Another option would be to tell them that you are so envious of all the free time they will have now that they don’t have to watch any more basketball. Be creative! Don’t use too big of words, though, because they either won’t understand it or won’t be able to read it.


We should also familiarize ourselves with public enemy #1: UCLA. Remember what happened when they came to town in December? We are all aware that they’re the only team with more national championships than us. We’ve all heard what a clown LaVar Ball is. All of these just add to how bad we want to kick their ass. Oh, you think your son is better than Steph Curry? Well, Curry made an Elite 8 at Davidson. Davidson. Your son is at UCLA, one of the all-time powerhouses in college basketball, so if he’s that good surely he’ll be able to take them as far as Curry did, right?


Only time will tell how the rest of the NCAA tournament will unfold for UK, and even if it doesn’t go how we want it to, it is important to remember one thing: At least we aren’t Duke or, especially Louisville.




Sad Cats





WATCH: For some, spring break is about partying on the beach. For others, it’s about wallowing in despair:


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