An Inside Look at Coach John Calipari’s Thoughts

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John Calipari has a lot on his mind on a day to day basis. Between running practice, scouting, individual workouts, recruiting and keeping up with his personal life, he doesn’t have a lot of time to think. But what does he think about when he doesn’t have to worry about everything else? Perhaps these are some of his thoughts:

“Does anybody have a birthday coming up? I could use one of Ellen’s brownies.”

“Is Ellen’s birthday coming up? I hope not. I feel like she just had one.”

*sees Kenny Payne* “okay be cool it’s just Kenny” “Ayyoo KP what’s crackin dawg!?” “smooth”

*sees John Robic* “Coach, where do you get your hair cut? Do you get your hair cut or does it just kind of stay like that? The kids tell me Cuts on Lime is the place to go.”

“I wish number 20’s mom would stop texting me to put him in the game. How’d she even get my number?”

“I could use a beer.”

*a single tear rolls down his cheek* “Fuck Frank Kaminsky”

*sees Brad in some foolish clothes*“whose sons is this?”

*sees Brad without a shirt on* “for real whose sons is this?”

“I wonder if I got Anthony Davis a fake ID he could come back to school”

“I think I’m gonna tweak the reboot”

“I hope Mom puts some plus on my account soon. I’m almost out.”

*texting Drake* “💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 —- LOL — JK”

*texting Rick Pitino* “Hey Rick —- I need a favor —- can u send me Coach Mike’s #?? LOL — JK”

*Buying milk at Euclid Kroger* “would you like your milk in a bag Coach?” “No, you can just leave it in the jug.”

How do you feel about the trash dove?