Education is important, that’s why we all force ourselves into brief moments of sobriety between the hours 8 a.m. and 3 p.m. But some UK classes are just so unrelated to anyone’s life plans you have to ask, “What the fuck?”
10.) UK 101:
In case you didn’t get enough UK propaganda shoved at you during your high school years, you can recap it all in this one handy class! This class has been regarded as teaching you nothing, but it’s guaranteed to be billed as the “most important class of your lifetime.”
9.) KHP 118, Walking:
Barring physical disability, we’re going to assume that most people have some idea of how to walk. What are they teaching exactly? Is it some kind of special technique? Why is it over an hour? Is this just like a PE class?
8.) A&S 300, The Meaning of Life:
We no longer know what the meaning of life is, because this class was canceled. This leads us to assume that the meaning of life is, in fact, not paying nearly $10,000 a year to drag our asses out of bed at 8 a.m for the most cliché philosophy class ever. Who would have thought?
7.) KHP 200, The Philosophy of PE and Sports:
“Chase the Frisbee? But why? Its purpose is to fly. Why do we chase the Frisbee just to release it again? Is the chase real? Is the Frisbee real? Am I real? How can the Frisbee be real if our hands aren’t real?”
6.) PHI 100, Intro to Reality:
If you haven’t figured out that you are, in fact, alive by the time you’ve entered college, then this class if for you. It’s only an introduction though, because the only way to be 100% sure you are real is a hangover so bad that makes you wish you weren’t.
5.) KHP 113, Hip Hop Dance:
In what world is this beneficial to any major? Imagine years from now saying “My doctor went to UK. She only got a D in their medical classes but hey, she sure learned to twerk!”
4.) MAS 436, Video Games as Important Media:
Any group of guys that would actually want to go to a class about video games, probably won’t put down their Monster energy drinks long enough to answer a question about the media implications of their last round of Halo.
3.) A&S 300, Comic Books and Graphic Novels:
This is the class for those who don’t have the attention span to read a full page of words. Like a picture book for adults, comic book enthusiasts can go over colors, shapes and how word bubbles are always suspiciously placed over Mary Jane’s tits.
2.) A&S 100, Vampires’ Evolution into a Sexy Monster:
The fact that this class exists is enough to get Dracula rolling around in his coffin. The course description reads like a bad magazine article: “follow the Vampires’ evolution from Slavic folktale into a sex symbol!” All we need now is for the title to officially be changed to “Twilight fans are finally old enough to be college freshmen, God help us all.”
1.) A&S 300, Spirit Chemistry:
Oh bitter irony, this class goes in-depth in the production of moonshine, vodka, gin, rum, bourbon and scotch, which sounds awesome except… Kentucky is a dry campus. There will be no actual alcohol. They can’t teach you how to make it either, which essentially means this is just a chemistry class cursed with horrible irony.