Well, Wildcats, it can be assumed that you’ve already blown your funds for the semester on liquor and a PS4. Or perhaps your parents are pissed you’re entering your 6th year of college trying to earn a BA in theater and philosophy and have finally decided to cut you off. Either way, you need to make some extra cash. Here at The Black Sheep we’ve compiled a list of the jobs to avoid so you don’t end up drinking away the pain during the days you’re not at work (we know you will anyway).
10.) Tolly Ho:
Friday night at 2 a.m., you’re stuck here, taking shots in the back with the cook hiding from the groups of sorority chicks as they giggle about ordering the extra-large cheddar tots and being “so fat.” Pass the Smirnoff, please.
9.) Willy T. Young library:
Stocking book shelves might not seem too bad, but the horror becomes real when you’re forced to rearrange the “Scandinavian Politics” section next to the small study room where some creepy guy is obviously looking at photos from The Fappening and openly jerking off.
8.) Chik-fil-A, UK Student Center:
Yeah, you get a free meal every time you work, but having to pray over each chicken patty and having to serve the hate speech priest who occupies campus every other week really starts to wear thin after the first month.
7.) UK Bookstore:
Only a good job if you bring a flask to work and take a shot every time someone bitches at you about the price of their textbook. Two shots if you watch some kid shove said books into his backpack and try to casually walk out of the store before being tackled by Segway cops.
6.) Taco Bell:
Even being located three miles from campus doesn’t stop students from piling in their cars on a rather intoxicated Thursday evening and moronically risk DUIs for uncontrollable diarrhea the next day.
5.) Big Cat Liquor:
Whether it’s the freshman with the I.D. made out of construction paper, or the mature student hooking up his younger friends in hope of being “cool,” all you really want to do at work is pop open a cold Jager and tell your boss to suck it. One can only dream.
4.) Jimmy John’s:
Be sure to pack the pepper spray and taser. State Street’s finest are always looking for a quick meal and buck. Also, you will be offered a hit off the bong rather than monetary compensation for your services. This part might not be so shitty…
White girls, white girls, white girls; the sea of black leggings and pastel long-sleeves. Just stay away from here unless you like being reminded how people spend what you consider your food budget for a month on decorations for their dorm room.
2.) Financial Aid Office:
It’s obviously your only goal in life to screw with people’s financial aid, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Hope you like being screamed at.
1.) The Undergraduate Teaching Assistant:
The only job where your friends can also be your students; it allows you to see how stupid they truly are. Why are we friends again? He always leaves bottles of tequila at my house…I’ll give him an A.