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Top 10 Places to Have Sex on UK’s Campus

 

Sometimes the stress of class will make you hornier than a two-headed bull. If you need to go for a quickie and there’s no time to catch the Lextran home, The Black Sheep has compiled a list of the top ten places to hook up on UK’s campus!

 

10.) On the Wildcat Statue:

 

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You do pay $20,000 to go here. No better way to celebrate your school pride than to spread ya legs on the ol’ Wildcat.

 

9.) In a pile of leaves:

 

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Tis’ the season. The leave piles are warm and fluffy all over campus, just like the inside of your pants.

 

8.) The stage in the fine arts building:

 

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The campus is your stage. Get in character and maybe do some LARPing to forget about the stress of your everyday life.

 

7.) The wall behind POT at sunset:

 

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Very romantic. When you can just barely make it outta the building in time, this is the place to be.

 

6.) Elevator in White Hall:

 

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What floor did you cum on? Forget the bland classrooms in this building, have you ever had sex where the momentum of the room is going up and down with you?

 

5.) Capilouto’s front steps:

 

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Assert your dominance to the overlords. Does Capilouto even stay here? If so, his wife’s gonna get a rude awakening as she’s making a quiche.

 

4.) Armchair at Starbucks:

 

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They say this Starbucks is the biggest in Kentucky, maybe like something else? This will give all the kids in Starbucks a live action break from the pornhub that’s slowly destroying their computers.

 

3.) Stacks in the Willy T. Library:

 

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A classic. You really just can’t graduate without tackling this one, just make sure the moving bookshelves don’t close in on you. That would be the first time he said “It’s too tight.”

 

2.) Chem-Phys Building:

 

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The possibility of radiation is so sexy. The blinking red light will make you feel like you’re in the Bangkok prostitute district and really help you get in the mood.

 

1.) Engineering Courtyard:

 

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Spacious and the most beautiful place on campus. These poor kids have the hardest majors at UK, and they’ve already figured this one out before we did. The stains were still fresh and mixed with tears.

 

Remember Wildcats: stay safe, use protection, and make some memories on our beautiful campus!

 

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