Kostas Chaconas, UK foreign exchange student from Greece, watched in horror as his tiny smart car was towed away on East campus last Friday, after parking in a designated “Greeks Only” parking space. Chaconas, 21, claims he is angered by such, “Deceiving signs,” and in addition, believes he should be able to park in Greek-only sections due to his obvious Greek heritage.
“I am Greek, the sign says Greek, and so I parked here. I do not understand the problem,” states Chaconas.
Chaconas claims he had been driving around campus in his cousin’s smart car for an hour straight, fretfully searching for a parking spot to make his class in time, when he stumbled upon the Greeks only parking lot.
“I remember thinking, this is strange, no? I was very happy to see this parking sign because I felt like I was home again. But I was thinking it is crazy that Kentucky loves us Greeks so much to give us our very own parking. But I am sad to learn it is for Americans who drink beer and wear togas.”
Reese Huntington Wellington IV, former Lambda Omega Lambda member, and currently one of the UK Greek life officials, claims, “This is one of the craziest things to happen to Kentucky Greek life.”
“I feel for the little dude, I really do, and you know what? I would love to get him in one of the frats. Like come on, how perfect is this? A badass Greek who’s literally Greek and can actually read our letters. Once the row hears about this, everyone’s gonna want him in their house.”
Chaconas’ cousin, Katherine, sophomore at Kentucky, and whose car Chaconas borrowed, says she will fight to get her cousin’s fine repealed.
“He didn’t know. He’s new here and like, can barely read English for God’s sake. He shouldn’t have to pay $250 for parking somewhere with a sign that technically says if you’re “Greek” you can park there. Maybe they need to clarify what they mean by that. My friend in law school says I may have a real case here.”
Kostas plans on not paying the $250 fine, but assures us he doesn’t want to cause trouble.
“I do not want trouble, I just came here for an American experience. I would like to go to a school baseball game and meet American girls and watch horse races; not to fight with anyone.”
UK is in the process of deciding how to handle this chaotic mixup and assures us they will do what they can to make sure this sort of situation never happens again.