Everyone drinks, everyone pukes, and everyone goes to class hungover, regretting all of the decisions from last night, (particularly buying two entire bottles of wine at JL’s wine night.) And while everyone has a certain school “look” they abide by, your “hungover school look” can really say a lot about who you are as a person, just as your horoscope can accurately predict your rocky future. So what category do you fall under, based on how you roll up to your 10:30, all sickly and pale, reeking of bar smoke and last night’s prudent choices?
5.) The “I use apple cider vinegar as my mixer” look:
These are easy to pick out… LSU is just crawling with them. They are the counterculture of humans who somehow managed to work out and shower before making it to class this morning, including fixing up one their daily veganwhole30avocadokalechiaseed smoothie-bullshit. Don’t be fooled by their tight ponytails and alert eyes, they too, were out at Fred’s last night, balls deep in some 10 tequila shots and freshly-squeezed screwdrivers. How they manage to look like they swallowed an entire bottle of Adderall after scrubbing their faces with bleach, we will never know.
Probably wearing: Definitely wearing head-to-toe Lululemon and what we’re convinced are her only pair of shoes: Nike tennis.
4.) The onesie guy:
Every classroom has one of these… this is the guy who shows up to class, radiating the room with their scent of stale weed and cherry Poptarts with just a hint of the Runescape sweats. The only reason we hate on him is because we’re actually just jealous of his lifestyle, which consists of comfortably doing the minimum. He probably spent his night last night smoking himself into a coma, which explains why he looks like he just walked in on his grandparents doing it.
Probably wearing: Actual pajamas or one of the three animal onesies he owns, (definitely the panda one, again).
3.) The “there’s vomit and queso in my hair, I’m probably pregnant” look:
This girl definitely spent her entire night crying into her cranberry vodka at Reggie’s, where she then had a heart-to-heart with the 30-year-old Sociology major who later took her home.
Probably wearing: Her literal outfit and makeup from last night, including her wedges and bar wristbands. (She maybe, maybe changed into a Fred’s T-shirt that she harassed the bartenders all night for.)
2.) The overly dressed gentleman:
Much like the first idiot, they too managed to find the time and self respect to shower and change into a fresh new blouse before class after a tasteful night out in T-Land. However, unlike that gym rat who wears the same leggings and Nikes combo daily, this guy looks like your rich, vampy uncle Rico, who lives in California and touches your shoulder too much.
Probably wearing: Dark, rich, mahogany loafers with a mob-ish leather jacket to match, lying over a tasteful button down with a permanent glimmer in his eyes.
1.) The frat stars/functional drunks:
Campus is just crawling with them. Some say they make up the majority of the demographic at LSU. These dude bros had the best night of their lives last night in Mike’s, where they slammed awesome shooters with awesome music, soaking up each other’s awesomeness. You will find them sitting in the back of the class, slouched in their desks, a dip-filled water bottle in hand, smirking at anything and everything someone says.
Probably definitely wearing: White washed Levis, spicy cowboy boots, and one of their 13,456 frat shirts.
If LSU does one thing right, it’s fashion. Drunk fashion. That, and making it to class in time, even the morning after a wild night out on the town. Drink up tigers, and continue to run to class hungover as hell, NOT letting those nasty hangovers and classes get in the way of college.