Don’t you just hate it when you make eye contact with the kids you haven’t seen since high school yet they find it necessary to stop and chat with you in the quad…taking a shit on your perfectly, only sorta-shitty day? How about accidentally locking eyes with that guy who recently ghosted you, while looking like a grimy little bowl of oatmeal? Maybe even your annoying out-of- state cousin who now goes here? Whatever it may be, here are the 5 best spots on campus to skirt-skirt quite literally, anyone:
5.) The underground Subway:
You’d be surprised at how many people simply walk right past, what could arguably be, the coolest building on campus. This is the place to be when the robot apocalypse breaks out, or even worse, when you spy your ex walking your way (whom you haven’t seen since you’ve discovered Kami Nari). Pretend to read an intriguing article as you swerve right into this judge-free, safe-space where you can eat as many sandwiches to fill that cold, black, gaping hole of a heart of yours.
4.) The Lockett basement bathroom:
Home to some of the rudest ghosts at LSU and quite possibly the worst place to be on campus, therefore, no one will ever think to go in here. Or even if they do, there’s a great chance they won’t because it sucks and was obviously built in the 1800’s for women the size of small school children who clearly didn’t carry backpacks and could do killer squats from getting off and on those teensy toilets all day long.
3.) Behind the pack of freshmen boys:
You already get caught behind them while on your way to class, forced to hear their talks of impending T-Land plans and how hard the accounting midterm was. Today, they will come in handy as you use them as your human shield, brushing right past that guy from high school, you know, the one you were never friends with, but destiny thought it be cute to toss him right back into your life? Forcing you to make quite literally, the most uncomfortable conversations of your life.
2.) The Bursar’s Office:
Yeah, us either.
1.) Behind a cloud of campus vapers:
Smoker’s Alley may be temporarily under construction, getting the face lift she deserves, but that doesn’t stop the subgroups of LSU from blowing down in every crevice of the quad, creating enough vape clouds to start a damn thunderstorm. Feel free to utilize the effectiveness these smoke mirrors can bring. Great for hiding from the professor whose class you just skipped (yet again) due to another bad case of food poisoning and/or serious family issues.
We hope these 5 spot suggestions keep you from being the social butterfly you never wanted to be but were forced to—going to a small school and being a grown up and everything. Because sometimes you just want the freedom and luxury of going to class looking like a greasy meatball without running into every attractive person you’ve ever encountered in your college career.