Ah, another successful Syllabus Week at LSU has come and gone too soon. Syllabus week, AKA Chill-abus week, is every procrastinator’s dream, in which we use the entire week to do absolutely nothing productive, especially NOT showing up to that 8:30 a.m. we only scheduled as a result of being completely obliterated by the LSU Purge (not only the first, but the second one, too.) And while a nice chunk of the students did not partake in Syllabus Week and all of it’s glory, and did in fact, go to class, here’s what the rest of us were doing:
7.) Searching the course log for class alternatives:
“I can’t actually take Astronomy, what was I thinking?” is what you told yourself after reading the class reviews and sadly learning it’s not all fun and horoscopes. You decided to be responsible, but mostly realistic, and last minute dropped/added in a Women and Gender Studies: how to be woke course that somehow counts in its place.
*Cue in Afroman song* as you aimlessly zipped past all of the peasants on the parade grounds and made a beeline for the Burger King. Zero regrats.
5.) The Solar Eclipse:
Don’t think this one needs much explaining. Basically, Wal-Mart ran out of the special glasses, therefore we couldn’t leave our houses. Like at all. We had to protect our eyes from the deadly sun! That Facebook article said so. Also, how were we supposed to partake in this unique phenomenon locked in the dark, windowless basement of Lockett all day long?
4.) Missing the bus:
Ok, you tried…Sort of. You actually woke up and put on pants and made an attempt to go to class. It’s not our fault Tiger Trails is shady and did not properly show up on the time as stated on the app. (Thanks, Bobby Jindal!!)
3.) Napping in the quad in our ENOs:
Like #6 but with more vigor. Between the serenading sounds of on-campus construction and the sweet, sweet smell of fellow ENOer body odor, skipping class to take a nap was in fact, inevitable.
2.) Getting lost on the way to Turead, ending up in the Dairy Store:
LSU Dairy Store is basically that town bar you see in the movies where all of the stragglers who meander in there all have one thing in common: our hatred towards responsibilities and life, in general. “Make it a double this time, Benny, I’m not drivin’.”
1.) You did everything right, you bought the parking pass and even planned on going to class despite the rain. But once you got there, you spent an entire hour fighting over mediocre parking spots with the genre of people who drive Chargers with blue lights underneath. It mentally broke you down and you had to go home.
RIP Syllabus Week. You will be missed, heavily.