Everyone’s been in a Tigerland bar one night when some college rep from Bumble was giving out koozies and free hats. They’ve even written chalk messages across campus and hung up flyers imploring you to join Bumble, essentially the feminist Tinder. Girls have to message guys first, if they don’t, the match disappears forever. If you match with a fellow Tiger, The Black Sheep has the perfect one-liners for all you bold, bangin’ lady Tigers out there.
5.) “Coach O– Smash or Pass?”
If your dude responds to this, not only is he open to honesty, but also a sexual free bird. As long as his response isn’t “No homo, bro,” then consider him sexually fluid and down to pound. Incorporating Coach O fantasies in the bedroom? Get that sweet booty over here, baw!
4.) “For me, it only rains in Death Valley.”
Buzzwords like “Death Valley” really rile up every man’s innate love for sports. Even if he responds, “What’d you say, bitch?” you’ll know you really caught his attention. Smoothly follow up with, “Well, it’s a euphemism, Chad,” to get the ball(s) rolling.
3.) “Are you a STEM major? ‘Cause I’d like to bark up your tree.”
If you actually read bios, how many times do you see “LSU _[insert some word like “chemical” or “mechanical” here]_ Engineering” in homeboy’s bio? Almost every normal lookin’ guy is a STEM major. Cast your net with this generic pickup line and you’re sure to catch a few tunas.
2.) “I’m like eduroam. One minute I’m turned on, the next minute you can’t even fucking find me.”
What’s one thing everyone on Bumble is definitely not looking for? A real relationship. This one-liner lets him know you’re super cool with a one-night stand. In fact, you welcome it. Let him know you’re not someone he can rely on, nor should he. Give him an eduroam erection, if only for a fleeting moment.
1.) “Fred’s regular in the streets, Mike’s regular in the sheets.”
Everyone loves a good girl. Let your match know that you can look sweet and still be a freak with these relatable Tigerland hotspots. Fred’s will luv ya, but Mike’s will make it their business doing pleasure with you.
If Valentine’s Day was a flop for you, hopefully these sweet nothings will spice up your online sex life.
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