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If Fortnite Were At LSU

Fortnite has taken the video game world by storm over the last few months. If you haven’t heard of Fortnite, you must be living under a rock. Even celebrities like Drake and Travis Scott are playing. It lies somewhere on a spectrum in the middle of Minecraft, The Hunger Games and Call of Duty. But what if that giant balloon was carrying a purple Tiger Trails bus rather than the signature blue Fortnite bus? What if you Fortnite went down on LSU’s campus? Where would you drop?

Ag Center Greenhouses – Dusty Depot
Dusty Depot consists of three warehouses that can be harvested for metal and a few other goodies. The Greenhouses at the Ag Center may not allow you to harvest as much metal, but you’ll have a shit ton of greens to munch on.

The Quad – Retail Row
Just like the Quad, Retail Row is always crawling with friends and foes. You never know what kind of folks you might see shuffling around looking for guns and potions or rushing from class to class.

Lockett – Greasy Grove
If you have a class in Lockett in the Spring or Summer, I feel bad for you son. The basement reeks of the sweat and tears of poor, greasy college kids just trying to pass their damn Calculus class.

Anarchy Acres – Parade Grounds
Need I say more? Have you seen the Parade Grounds on Gameday? It’s a goddamn zoo out there. Replace beer pong tables with assault rifles and you have the LSU equivalent of Fortnite.

Haunted Hills – Indian Mounds
Again, do I need to say more? The Indian Mounds are something of folk legend at LSU. Are there actual Indians buried beneath the hills? Maybe. Get piss drunk and bring your Ouija board to the Indian Mounds one night and find out.

Whether you’re rushing to find weapons or rushing to your 8 a.m. class, Fortnite and college life share one distinct feature: you’re running away from impending doom. Good luck, kiddos.

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