Muscle and Finesse: Flirting in the UREC
Maybe you noticed them in front of you on the track or the rock wall. Perhaps they were duking it out in the boxing studio. It’s not hard to find a crush at the UREC, but it can be insanely nerve-wracking to work up the courage to talk to them. We’ve all been there. Here are some subtle conversation-starters you can start using to gain the attention and admiration of your fitness muse.
5.) Show off the goods:
Load your barbell with as many weights as you can lift. Turn the treadmill up to Kenyan. Contort your body in ways modern science has otherwise deemed impossible. Don’t hold back. Be theatrical. Just some kind of crazy unnecessary, yet entertaining, thing that no other reasonable person in a gym would think to do. Be sure to demonstrate how hard you are working and how dedicated you are with lots of grunting and panting. Show them the animal inside you. Be an alpha!
“I was looking for two fives, but I found a perfect ten!”
4.) DJ Kettlebell:
Turn your speakers all the way up to eleven and get the party started by showing them your awesome taste in music. There aren’t many choices of music genres today, so you’re likely to listen to all the same stuff. Everyone loves to rock out when hitting those big sets. All the other gym patrons around you will appreciate it as well.
“I really should warm up, but looking at you has already got me hot!”
3). Introduce them to the guru:
Show them how much more you know about working out than they do by explaining your superior regimen and diet plan. Don’t worry if they didn’t ask to begin with. Don’t forget to tell them everything they’re doing wrong. And, most importantly, don’t give up all your secrets. Always leave them wanting more. Showing how ignorant and naïve they are will invoke a sense of dependency; you need to be their guide.
“Left your protein at home? There must be some whey I can help you.”
2.) Staff Infection:
Crushing on one of those attractive UREC workers? Give them something to do by injuring yourself. They’ll have to take down your name and contact information for the report, plus tending your wounds will get you that physical contact you’ve been looking for.
“Do you have any tape? Because I’m totally ripped!”
It’s one of the oldest tricks there is, believed to first be used by the ancient Greeks. But it’s a classic. The old buy a large post-workout smoothie, get two straws, and offer to share with your exhausted and starved lover-to-be. Find a flavor you believe best embodies their essence. Vegan? Paleo? Tell them whatever they want to hear. It’s a free smoothie. They’ll be grateful.
Don’t play the aloof game like you’re just there for the workout and hope that your looking focused will get them to come to you. You know what you want. Get after it. That hot body you’ve been working hard for won’t be getting the use you wanted out of it without a confident swagger carrying it.