Last week 35,000 people signed a petition advocating for LSU to release Mike the tiger and to stop having a live mascot all together.
Those who signed the petition, most of whom are from out of state, claim that animals should not be kept in captivity for “entertainment purposes” and that they should remain in the wild. Though people are arguing in favor of Mike’s release, no one has really suggested where he should end up, given that he’s been raised in captivity. That is, until now.
This change.org petition is making an astounding suggestion for Mike VII’s new home, and we can say with confidence that we will be signing. While the students of LSU truly love our little guy Mike, we know deep in our hearts that he’d be much happier if we were sailing out on the open waters of the Pacific Ocean just like Pi and Richard Parker in Yann Martel’s 2001 best selling novel, Life of Pi.
The petition suggests that instead of Mike remaining in his perfectly comfortable enclosure in Baton Rouge, and Coach O keeping the LSU Tigers on the road to victory, that the two will shack up in a lifeboat together to learn life skills like hunting, and bonding over cigars and Gin Rummy.
To help Mike and Coach O fulfill their dreams of fishing and lifelong friendship, sign this petition today. Together we can please those in protest of Mike’s current happiness and aid in furthering his life experiences, in a tiny lifeboat with our favorite coach.
Listen to Talk of Shame, a podcast about being young & dumb. Hosted by 2 drunk girls from The Black Sheep corporate, Mackenzie Harding & Andrea Jablonski. One can’t find her tampon, the other one’s laundry is probably on fire.