Dorm life is hard. During your dorm experience, you witnessed some pretty traumatizing things like we at The Black Sheep did. If any of these sound familiar to you, we’re really sorry for bringing them up again. We hope you can get these images out of your head before the time you’re forty.
6.) The security breach:
So you got an email notifying you of an undesirable person gaining entrance to your dorm building. It was probably a homeless man just looking to catch some Z’s on the couch of the 6th floor lounge. Or maybe it was one of those crazy bible kids who wanted to preach to your entire floor. Or maybe you were unlucky enough to be a victim of the campus cuddler. Regardless, they probably told you that the triple swipe system protected you….HA!
5.) The shower incident:
Whether someone yanked back the curtain during your solo performance of “Ultralight Beam” and begged you to stop wailing like that. Or maybe you dropped your towel walking down the hallway and mooned that cute guy on your floor, it’s almost guaranteed that some terrible incident happened to you in or around the dorm showers.
4.) The fight:
Dorm living fosters love and hatred amongst college freshmen. There were probably some boy brawls on your floor over who won the point tournament. Or maybe it was a girl-on-girl fight over a guy they both made out with, which will likely cause a loud bitch fit and end up with someone throwing the other’s favorite shoes out the window. If you’re lucky, this won’t happen when they’re drunk at 3 a.m. after a night at Bent’s that wakes up the whole floor.
3.) The “what do I do?”:
We’ve all been here. Someone’s either possibly dead in the stairwell, or puking their guts out in the bathroom and begging you to call their mom, and you’re just the poor sucker in the wrong place at the wrong time. You probably don’t even know who this poor kid is, but in this moment, you’re the best chance they’ve got at survival. Maybe this scenario helped you find your love for charity work, or like, holding puking babies.
2.) The fire drill:
Maybe you were this person: “Someone had to pull the alarm, right? The school doesn’t do fire drills at 5 a.m. anyways. That would be just cruel.” Or maybe you were, unfortunately, this person: “Fuck fuck fuck, of course they do a fire drill when I’m showering and it’s 20 degrees outside. Is this a fucking joke?” And then, there’s always this person: “Hey man, was there a fire drill last night? I must have slept through it. Damn.”
1.) The sleepover:
So you decided to be cool and let your roommate have a “friend” sleepover. Now it’s 2 a.m. and they think you’re asleep, but you aren’t and you wish you were laying dead in your grave because the noises you’re hearing are just simply…squelchy. You didn’t know your roommate was a freak like that.
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