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Eppley Gym-timidators: Reasons Why You Don’t Go To The Gym

 

Here at The Black Sheep, we totally understand how hard it is to get up the motivation to put on your gym clothes, fill up your water bottle, and make the killer trek to Eppley (whether you live in Queen Anne’s or La Plata). However, nothing is more annoying than when you finally do make it there, and then you see the people who remind you why you never want to come. That’s right; we are talking about you, gym-timidators. Here are the top 5 types of gym-timidators that make you regret your decision to go to the gym and keep you on edge about returning:

 

5.) That Guy Who Stands in Front of the Weight Rack:

 

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We’ve all seen the guy who has to be as close as possible to the weight rack and the mirror so that he can stare at his “lifting face” and bulging muscles. Yes, we understand that you can lift the 50 lb. dumbbells, but can you please take a few steps back so that us mere mortals can reach the 12 lb. ones? Thanks, bro.

 

4.) The Olympic Swimmer:

 

swim

 

Yes, we know that you’re amazing, so why don’t you just join the club swim team instead of gym-timidating all of us over in the lap lanes just trying to get a little workout in? We know you don’t need to stop at the wall, or breathe, or drink water, ever, but your judging glares at those of us who actually appreciate oxygen do not go unnoticed.

 

3.) The Yoga Guru:

 

yoga

 

WHY DOES YOUR BODY BEND THAT WAY?! We’ve all seen these girls in the boxing room on the top floor. The ones who stand on their heads and can hold the weirdest positions that you don’t even understand for infinite amounts of time. Please ignore us attempting to stretch while you are in your zen space… Namaste over here… at a safe distance…

 

2.) The Runners:

 

 

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You all know exactly what we’re talking about. The ones that run for an hour at a time while never slowing down from their 7.5 speed, and looking over consistently to make sure no one is running faster than them. They say you should limit your treadmill use to 30 minutes if the gym is crowded, but we will just let you go… and go… and go…

 

1.) The Hulk:

 

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This guy could crush you with his pinky finger. His biceps are bigger than your whole head. His legs are pure steel.  He sounds like the Terminator while he benches twice your body weight. Guys want to be him and girls fear running into him in a dark alley. He is the number one reason you do not return to the weight room, or the gym, for multiple weeks at a time.

 

As important as healthy living is, sometimes our pride is bigger, so we avoid these people at all costs, even if that means avoiding the gym as a whole (obviously they only exist there, because with those bodies, you must not have time to do anything else).

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