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What Terps Would Bring On The Mayflower

It’s nearing Thanksgiving, and Terps across campus are thankful for getting to go home and have not-food, see old friends, and of course, booze away. To celebrate the occasion, The Black Sheep decided to write a list of potential items that most of us would’ve brought with us if we were pilgrims exploring the vast enigma that is the new world.

8.) Crab Hammers:
Would the pilgrims even have seen crabs (let alone caught them) on the journey? Even if not, a true Terp would never risk it being caught without a hammer if there’s even a vague potential for crabs. Bonus points to the Terps who brought Old Bay too.

7.) Zelko:
Is it the best drink? No, not at all, but you’ll never see a UMD party without some. If Terps are on that ship, you know it’s gonna be lit.

6.) Our flag:
For some reason Marylanders just love the flag to an almost obsessive degree. So of course terps would take some sort of Maryland flag themed object

5.) A tombstone commemorating our football team:
The pilgrims always honored the dead. So it’s obvious that they would bring something honoring the death of our football team’s season.

4.) Testudo Pin:
When dysentery is a factor, one can never have too much good luck. If Testudo can grant magical A’s, then it can probably prevent serious illnesses/death.


3.) A wireless hotspot:
Wi-Fi didn’t exist back then; but if it did the UMD supplied Wi-Fi would probably be shit (much like our own). A well prepared Terp should and would always have some backup data on them.

2.) Coke:
Because seriously, fuck Pepsi.

1.) Old Bay:
Old bay is the most sacred of the seasonings. It goes on everything, crabs, shrimp, lasagna, and literally anything else you can think of. If you don’t always carry a pack of old bay on you, then you’re not a true terp.

 

 

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