There are multiple campus-famous locations here at the University of Maryland, but McKeldin Library is special. It operates as the nucleus of college grounds, a safe haven where the sad, sleep-deprived and sexiled can gather for an espresso shot or just a moment alone. And though relaxed hammocks, curious Quidditch practice and majestic pan-flute playing surround its outside, don’t be fooled: McKeldin’s insides are even more “special.”
Yes, technically everyone is different. But, people do fall in certain categories. And you’re not the only one seeing the same studious archetypes every time you venture upstairs in McKeldin. The Black Sheep presents five people you simply can’t avoid on the second floor of our most beloved school site.
5.) The Screen Hog:
To the person who brings a personal laptop to the library, then sits at a public computer, we pose the same question we have for whoever decided it was acceptable to label the Kardashians “America’s First Family” on the cover of Cosmopolitan: Dude, what the fuck? No, seriously. Is the idea of having unlimited access to a chair with wheels THAT exciting to you. You feel the overwhelming desire to take up two computers, while other students are wandering aimlessly for a chance to occupy just one? Hmmm, interesting.
4.) The Night Owl:
Caramel Macchiato? Check. Pandora radio? Check. Cozy Christmas sweater even if it’s only October? Check. There is always someone camping out at McKeldin, crushed by the pressure of two midterm exams, writer’s block, and next week’s group project presentation. They’ve been at the same spot since one in the afternoon, and they’re not leaving until one in the morning. But with the help of a strategically-placed BuzzFeed break, some Snapchat conversations, and that emergency Snuggie, they’re going to be okay.
3.) Dumb and Dumber:
And this right here is why teachers used to pick our partners for us in high school. It’s always two guys goofing off, unaware that even though McKeldin’s second floor is the least library-y part of the building, it’s not exactly cocktail hour either. So cool it with the inside jokes and frat party gossip Mr. and Mrs. Popular. Some of us are busy suffering here alone.
2.) The Study Buddies:
1.) The Senior…Citizen:
Okay, so they’re not exactly drooling on the keyboard or anything, but they are older. They somehow manage to sit at the exact same spot in the library every time you see them, like those gushy restaurant regulars who sit at the same booth they had their first date at 14 years ago. Anyways, kudos to functioning adults that CHOOSE to surround themselves with anxiety-driven college kids high off of Thirsty Thursday and late-night diner food. You’re the real MVP.