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UMD’S 5 Worst Professors as Chosen by UMD Students

With 90 undergraduate majors that require selection from a ridiculous amount of courses to chose from, we’re all bound to come across one crazy, weird, or just plain awful professor during our time at Maryland. Crazy and/or weird is tolerable, but when you get a professor that sucks at their job, your GPA comes along for the ride—a ride where the rollercoaster goes down the hill and never, ever comes back up. The Black Sheep gave you a survey to take, and we’ve got your results. Now it’s time to reveal your most despised, grade ruining, life-sucking professors. Drum roll please.


DISCLAIMER: The following comments are actual submissions we received in a poll we hosted on our website. The Black Sheep is publishing these for entertainment purposes only, and do not reflect the opinions of The Black Sheep.


5.)  Michael Keller

Subject Taught: Biology

Students Feel:

– “Petulant child when class fails to understand.”

“The GSS people and TAs could only do so much before the tests killed you with his unclear questions.”

– “Unapproachable, pretty stark, and borderline rude.”

– “Barely made the material understandable.”

Hope of Passing: You might be able to find it with a microscope.




4.) Rodney Schwartz

Subject Taught: Communications

Students Feel:

– “Gets off topic 97% of the time and then blames his students for that.”

– “Doesn’t give out A’s.”

– “Ridicules you when you don’t know everything.”

Hope of Passing: You’ll get a B in COMM107.




3.) Frances Gulick

Subject Taught: Math

Students Feel:

– “Condescending and doesn’t understand how you don’t understand.”

“She always goes over on time, probably because she thinks she can teach 3 sections in 50 minutes.”

– “Not helpful and extremely picky.”

– “Just…bad.”

Hope of Passing: Asserting your dominance by replying with an equally condescending tone.




2.) Bonnie Dixon

Subject Taught: Chemistry

Students Feel:

– “Class averages are disturbingly low.”

– “The most impossible tests known to man.”

– “Rude and disrespectful when you try to get help from her.”

– “Expects you to have an extensive background in chemistry.”

Hope of Passing: Discovering a new element for the periodic table.


1.) Michael Boyle

Subject Taught: Math

Students Feel:

– “Puts up examples and says ‘actually I don’t know how to solve this quickly. Not gonna do it.’”

“Everyone fails because he can’t teach.”

– “Never in my life have I seen an educator who confuses you more.”

– “Has a tendency to beat a dead horse.”

Hope of Passing: Actually finding a dead horse to beat back to life.




College is hard. We know that coming into it, but when we get that one shitty professor that doesn’t even know what he’s talking about himself let alone what he’s teaching an entire classroom full of 200 students, the hardness level becomes astronomically high. The Black Sheep salutes you poor souls that have had to go through this traumatizing obstacle. And for those of you who have not taken a class with any of these professors, thank your lucky Testudo, and watch out for these names in future semesters or else both your sanity and your GPA will suffer.

Hey dummy, listen to our podcast!


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