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Will It Gourmet? UMD Dining Hall Edition

UMD is infamous for a lot of things, most notably being voted most hospitable by MMM (Mold Monthly Magazine). But UMD is also known for its shitty, terrible, prolly toxic food. The Black Sheep decided to see if we could make UMD dining hall food gourmet (or at the very least edible)

First, we visited South Campus Dining Hall. 

Steak and potatoes dinner:

We took some hamburger steak, some gravy, potatoes, and squash to make a gourmet steak dinner. And while it looks unappetizing at best, it’s actually inedible at best. Tasty score: Meh/12.


Who doesn’t like Greek food? First we got some pita, rice, cheese, and meat, and some curly fries, and made ourselves an old-fashioned gyro. And well, it’s kinda shit too. Tasty score: “Go to Marathon Deli”/10.

Mexican-style plate:

Yeah… no. I’m not eating that. Tasty score: “Is Taco Bell still open?”/11.56.

Next, we went to North Campus Dining Hall to see if they could provide some better options.

Chicken cordon bleu:

We called the chef up and told them, “Eyyy yo, ya bois coming. Put a fat one on the grill.” But unfortunately this is what we were given. Tasty Score: “A one-way trip to the health center”/7.


Okay! You can’t mess up panca–God dammit! Tasty score: “I’m done writing these”/69.

We’ll as we’ve seen diner food CANNOT be gourmet. Oh well, at least there’s still basketball season to disappoint us.

Listen to Talk of Shame, a podcast about being young & dumb, hosted by 2 drunk girls from The Black Sheep, Mackenzie & Andrea. One can’t find her tampon, the other one’s laundry is probably on fire. Subscribe to Talk of Shame:

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