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6 Other Extremely Defeated Teams at MSU


After losing to Penn State, MSU’s football team finally ended their abysmal 2016 season. It might be easy to fixate on how disappointing football was, but Dantonio’s squad wasn’t the only Spartan team to have a rough season. Let’s take some time to memorialize these other unfortunate Spartan souls:


6.) MSU Field Hockey:
Field hockey isn’t exactly the most publicized sport, so many people probably forget that MSU even has a team. After their 2016 season, the team probably wishes they could forget their existence. The team finished the season at third to last in the Big Ten, and to make things worse, their last game of the year was a double overtime loss to Michigan. Eww.


5.) MSU Volleyball:
It’s true that the Spartan volleyball team had a fantastic regular season. In fact, they were good enough to earn the right to play their first two NCAA tournament games at Jenison Fieldhouse. But then they lost their second NCAA tournament game in front of their home crowd. That is a whole new level of emotional defeat.


4.) MSU Football Student Section:
While the football team struggled to do anything right this year, the student section struggled to maintain even the slightest sense of enthusiasm. While every game started with the usual burst of spirit brought about by the fight song and Sparty, the collective joy of the student section was drained by the disappointing performance of the actual team. By the end of most games this year, the student section could barely muster the energy to make fun of the other team.


3.) MSU Facilities Staff:
Between vomiting on floors and vigorous shower masturbation, college students can be disgusting. Someone needs to snake the drains and clean up the messes left behind by us Spartans, and that duty always falls to facilities. After a semester of cleaning up after many a dorm-based rager, MSU Facilities is ready to surrender.


2.) MSU Spirit Squad:
Watching this year’s football team was hard enough for fans throughout Spartan Nation, but the guys and girls on the MSU Spirit Squad had to endure our games while maintaining smiling faces and a general sense of enthusiasm. That’s a feat that not even the mostly drunk Student Section could pull off, and these people did it sober. Truly inspirational.


1.) MSU Club Football:
To be fair, the MSU Club Football team actually had a pretty decent season, crushing a number of their opponents. Their defeat stems from the fact that whenever anyone thinks of “MSU Football,” they think of how bad our varsity team was and not them. Being overshadowed by anyone and anything is rough, but being overshadowed by a 3-9 football team is even worse.


So whenever you feel sad about this past football season, just remember these other Spartans feeling the effects of total defeat, and remember that it could probably be worse.

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