At MSU, the “S-word” is rarely uttered before December. Yet here we are, not even a week from Thanksgiving, and we’ve seen frost and frozen precipitation. Shit. We at The Black Sheep are not ready for this climate swing just yet, so here are seven things we’d rather see fall from the sky than s***.
7.) Sny-Phi Caf Cookies:
Mmm, those warm delicious bites of 80-calorie bliss. To be honest, there might not be anything better than this; however, we feel it comes in at number 7 because, as good as they are, if they smear anywhere instead of our insides, it’s not a pretty sight (have you ever stepped in one?).
6.) CATA Bus Passes:
Gone are the days of holding up the line outside Bessey because you want a transfer card. Free bus rides galore when they fall freely from the sky. Watch out for paper cuts, though.
5.) Entire Kegs:
Yes, there might be some collateral damage, but it’s free beer. You can’t have your Keystone and drink it, too.
4.) Spartan Cash:
Is there even a physical equivalent to Spartan Cash? We’re guessing it resembles some sort of Monopoly money, but with Dantonio’s smirking face on it. Either way, every Sparty’s location will blow up if this ever does happen. Flamin’ Hot Cheetos for daaaysss.
3.) Free UAB Tickets to Events We’ll Probably Never Go to:
We feel like this already happens. Have you ever gone to a Wells Hall movie screening and ended up leaving with flyers and tickets to twelve other events? Yeah, that marine biology department co-hosting a blindfold poker night sounded interesting, but here we are, two weeks later, and not really feeling too bummed we missed it.
2.) Jim Harbaugh’s Tears:
This would be an absolute thing of beauty. There are not many things as perfect as seeing MSU win, but watching scUM get their hopes up season after season and just lose time and time again is pretty darn close. Your tears of unfathomable sadness are delicious, James. Fifth place never tasted so good.
1.) A Will to Live:
We’ve been looking for this our entire lives, so it would be great if it could just fall out of the sky. Finals are only getting closer day after day, and there’s only so much alcohol in the world. Izzo, help us, we could really use this one.
That first s***fall is always inevitable, but that won’t stop us from dreaming of precipitating caf cookies. It’s just so much warmer.
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