Hayride is strategically placed during the spookiest of all months: October. You can’t organically make someone love you, but you can make someone scared enough to go. Here are the spookiest ways to freak out your targeted specimen into going with you.
8.) Swing from a tree wearing a cloak in the front of Giltner while your target is leaving class:
Make sure your hood is up, and maybe even draw some dark circles under your eyes; you have endless options, unlike the person you’re trying to ask. You’re the only option for this Greek life tradition now!
7.) Sit outside their dorm room:
They’re guaranteed to drop whatever they’re doing and fill up a jug of Fireball just for you instead. Try not to get the campus police called on you by a neighbor though. Spooky and flirty!
6.) Send them emails with the subject line “Boo!”:
AH! Checking emails in college is scary enough, but an email with the subject as “Boo”? Get out the white candles and sage. Your hayride hoe will be begging you to keep them by your side for a sense of security.
5.) Walk like you have a fist up your ass and say that in an alternate universe you’re someone’s puppet:
This one might be a bit much. Actually, try it out. Let us know how it goes.
4.) Make a Voodoo doll of your hayride fantasy date:
Make sure to accurately represent their physical appearance— butt cheeks and all. Stand behind their shower curtain while holding the doll in one hand and a knife in another; don’t worry, champ, you’ll score that date!
3.) Make sure they catch you drawing a dead chalk body on their driveway:
Who did you kill? Why was it on their driveway? Will they be next? Why are you such a good artist?
2.) Lather yourself in red paint and run full force towards their bedroom window:
Nothing will turn on your dirty date more than looking like a headless chicken soaked in its own blood! If you don’t ricochet off their window, you didn’t run fast enough. Try harder.
1.) Paint them a jug and sob at their window until they accept your invitation:
You really fucking need this date.
The Black Sheep wishes you the best of luck, and we were even kind of spooked while writing this. You’ll totally get that date.