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UPDATE: WHOOPS

We have a real source that says President Simon has been removed from her position. For real, not a joke this time. This is a result of their closed door meeting, as reported by the Free Press. And if you’re sitting there all smug like, hey these guys publish satire headlines all the time, why would we believe you this time? To that we say, with all due respect, kindly go fuck yourselves! 

This is a real tip and just you wait for “real” news sources with “journalistic integrity” and “not drunk” writing staffs come out, and then you’ll say Hey, I The Black Sheep was right! You know what? I should send them some money and/or compliments. 

And not to take too much credit, but we’re like, pretty sure it was that really good quiz about her poor-decision making that did it. Or the cover of The State News yesterday, who knows. But in any case, it’s almost as if MSU smartened up and decided to take systematic sexual assault and racism seriously. Huzzah! We did it, you guys! 

We’ll continue to update this post as details arise.

UPDATE: WHOOPS

Our bone, guys. That’s on us. No wait, it’s on you. That’s what you get for trusting haphazard journalism, you should know better what with Trump as president and all. We’re sorry we tried. Sorry! That’s what we get for following the age old adage, shoot first and don’t follow up until the State News proves you wrong. 

We will editorialize real quick and saying this is fuckin’ bullshit, though. 

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