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Denied from Broad? Enroll in The New ‘Multi-Level Marketing’ Program and Make Money From Home Fast!

The Eli Broad College of Business is incredibly prestigious, and requires students to apply not only to the college itself, but to the individual major as well. For students that are less academically inclined, this policy has been horrifying.

To combat this worsening problem, MSU decided to add a multi-level marketing major, now a part of the College of Social Science. Multi-level marketing, also known as “pyramid schemes”, has increased in popularity recently, especially on social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram.

“We’re incredibly excited about this opportunity,” says newly-hired multi-level marketing professor Lou LaRow. “This will be a great opportunity for students to Thrive! All students should be able to feel like they have a FreeLife, and we really want to promote Neways to achieve your goals here at Michigan State.”

Local would-be entrepreneurs are not impressed by this abrupt addition.

“This is really going to cut into my Scentsy, Avon, Juice Plus, Vemma, and obviously Vector sales,” said 21-year-old mom of three and East Lansing High School dropout, Patricia Stanley. “It really sucks that Big University is hurting us local business owners.”

Classes required for the major include MLM 101: Sell, Sell, Sell, MLM 201: How to Talk Business Words, MLM 300: Tricking Your High School Friends, and MLM 324: No, We’re Not a Pyramid Scheme. The classes are expected to fill up quickly, with more students expected to join as they receive their entry denials to the Business College.

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