Tragedy struck today when freshman Spencer Parks realized half way through his ride home that he had forgotten to get his Combo-X-Change. In a personal interview with The Black Sheep, Parks told us he has comboed every day this semester, and “sure isn’t going to stop now”.
“When I realized I hadn’t gotten my quesadilla, granola bar, and apple juice, I was despondent. I love combos. I have comboed in every building on campus,” Parks told The Black Sheep. “One time it was 11:45 p.m. on a Monday night and I realized I forgot to combo. I ran to the nearest Sparty’s. On the way, I tripped and fell and broke my ankle. It didn’t matter. I dragged myself there. Three cars had to swerve around me as I hauled my broken body across the road. I was bleeding by the time I got to Sparty’s, but I still got my combo.”
Upon realizing that he hadn’t combed today, Parks told his mother that she needed to turn the car around.
“We were already a half an hour away from East Lansing, but it was still worth it for the combo. At first, my mom was hesitant about turning around. She changed her mind when I told her she could have half of my stale bagel. I think now my mom understands the true value of a combo. It’s not just a bunch of food that gets thrown into a bag out of habit. It saves your life when you’re hungry, or can bring brightness to your otherwise dull day. If Shaw has that shitty cheeseburger mac and cheese, your combo can offer variety. Combos are really about hope.”
Despite Parks’s love of the combo, a recent study by the MSU Police Department found that only 20% of MSU students use all of their combos in a week, and only 98% of students use all of their combos.
“That’s a ripe tragedy,” Parks commented. “Combos are a gift, and should not be squandered. We are lucky to have such access to Sparty’s coffee and browning sushi. I combo every day, and you should too.”