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Marketing Students Try to Get Professor Fired, Ace Class in Process


Chaos reigned in Professor Carter’s online section of MKT 327 on Wednesday afternoon as students protested the professor’s decision to institute a closed book cumulative final after a semester of open note exams. In retaliation, many students tried to get Carter fired and were surprised to find that organizing a marketing campaign to get him fired was the actual final.


“I was a little bit taken aback by the whole process,” said junior Alex Reyes. “One minute I’m angrily throwing together a Prezi detailing all of the reasons why Professor Carter was awful and how much of a joke this class was, and the next I’m receiving an email from the professor saying that I ‘won the game,’ and another saying that I got 100% on the final. It was just weird.”


Reyes was not alone in her confusion. Many other members of the almost 600-person class organized a variety of pitches with the intent of getting their professor fired over the unfair final, only to receive A’s.


“I boycotted the shitty final and wrote Lou Anna a strongly worded email about how terrible this professor was and how much he deserved to be fired, only to receive an email back saying that I aced the class,” said senior Jack Cooper. “Apparently, I accidentally utilized like every principle we learned about in class while trying to sell the idea of firing this chump. Cool?”


While students were left puzzled by these proceedings, Professor Carter was delighted to see his course go exactly as he had planned.


“I believe that experiential learning is better than some standard multiple choice test, so I was planning on forcing the students into this uncomfortable situation from day one,” said Carter during his office hours that nobody went to. “I just wanted to see what kind of marketing principles my students would utilize while attempting to get me fired, and I was pleasantly surprised at how well put together these pitches were. I mean, they had me wanting to fire me.”


At the end of the day, all students who protested what they thought was the final ended up finishing the class with a 4.0, regardless of their grade entering finals week. Not everyone fought back, though. Reports indicate that upwards of 15 people tried to muddle through the fake final, only to receive a pity 2.0 from Carter.


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