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MSU Freshman Blinks, Misses Whole Scheduling Window

 

Marshall Lottier had been planning his sophomore year schedule for what felt like months. Each class was painstakingly handpicked from the outstanding offered variety. He expected his sophomore year to be the epitome of his college career – until junior year, of course. What he did not expect, however, was entirely missing his scheduling window.

 

“I guess I just spent so much time sorting it all out that I didn’t remember to write down when I’d actually have to enroll,” Lottier told us. “Now I have an empty schedule for next year. Am I technically even a student anymore?”

 

According to Lottier’s roommate, Conner Gard, the forgetful freshman would only ever remember to sign up for classes after 8 p.m., before 8 a.m.

 

“He’s a busy guy,” said Gard. “He’s up and at ‘em for those twelve hours. When he finally would get a chance to sit down and remember he needed to sign up, enrollment would be closed.”

 

Because the scheduling website is run like an office instead of a website capable of functioning at all hours of the day, Lottier is now in the sticky situation of bumming around campus until he can next sign up for classes.

 

“I’d understand if we scheduled classes through an enrollment office,” Lottier grumbled, “but we don’t. We schedule through a website. I click buttons and the computer gives me my classes. Why the hell is run like some small-town family business that’s closed on the weekends and only operates between certain times?”

 

Because we too were curious as to why Schedule Builder functions so oddly, we contacted the Michigan State University Registrar’s Office. Unfortunately, when we did so at 6:30 p.m., they were closed. The Registrar contacting hours are from 8 a.m. to 6:29 p.m. and 6:31 p.m. to 8 p.m., for future reference.

 

Lottier does not lament his inability to sign up for classes, however. In fact, he considers it a blessing.

 

“I’ve heard so many scheduling horror stories,” he whispered. “The website takes forever to load, and when it finally does, your classes are full. So you set up an open seat notification and you have to wait by your phone for that baby to ding, and when it does, you best up and run to your computer before it gets taken.”

 

Lottier encourages other students to miss their scheduling windows in solidarity and protest the unfit scheduling conditions.

 

“Miss me with those prereqs you don’t hear about until you’re trying to officially enroll,” Lottier smiled. “I don’t fuck with Schedule Builder, especially that new grid view. I’m onto bigger and better things now: being a college dropout.”

 

 

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