In what seems to be a bizarre shout-out to the inauguration of President-elect Donald Trump, Michigan State University’s president, Lou Anna K. Simon, shared multiple early morning tweets, most of which made no sense. Her tweets were reminiscent of President-elect Trump’s, due to her odd word choice, abundant use of exclamations, and general pettiness.
“It was real weird, man,” admitted junior Manny Wilson, a member of the James Madison College. “I’ve never seen anything like this, except, you know, our new pres.”
Although it is uncertain as to what prompted this level of anger, the fact that it is Inauguration Day has not gone unnoticed, and the current campus theory is that this affected her normally good judgment.
“It’s, like, widespread now. First Trump, now Lou. I’m not surprised.” Wilson told us.
The tweets began at 1:20 a.m., where she sent two tweets within five minutes. One of them addressed her “haters”, and the other claimed the media was “crooked”, and admonished them for being inauthentic.
Many of her followers believed she was done, but exactly twenty minutes later, she was tweeting again, this time railing against the entertainment industry. She referenced many pop culture staples, including Hamilton, Fuller House, and football.
“I’m sorry, but Fuller House? I mean, sure, no one likes it, but who’s actually angry that it exists?” exclaimed MSU sophomore Shawn Venjans. “It’s insulting that she gave it any thought.”
There was a lull for about an hour until she returned. This time, she had some choice words for the MSU basketball team’s sophomore shooting guard and resident benchwarmer, Matt McQuaid.
McQuaid has been called many names by many people, including “a lean, mean, sex machine,” “tall, bean-like man,” and “Edward Cullen,” but never before has the president of the university referred to him as a “slippery young boy.”
President Simon has rarely spoken out about the basketball team, other than offering congratulations, so her sudden and vicious disdain for McQuaid is unprecedented.
Simon took a break at 2:59 a.m. to tweet what seems to be a pro-marijuana message. After this, she had one final message for her fan base, a last insult directed towards McQuaid.
“She’s just a big, ol’ bully!” proclaimed McQuaid.
No word has been given as to what prompted the tweets or how the administration at Michigan State will be dealing with her actions.