Spoiler Alert! ‘American Horror Story: Cult’ is Actually About RCAH

author-pic at Michigan State University  

As fall approaches, two things are always guaranteed: a new school year and a new season of American Horror Story (FX). This season, the anthology continues its spiral into the dark recesses of the mind, now focusing on coulrophobia, the fear of clowns. With the new entry taking place in Michigan, what better place to exploit clowns than the students of RCAH.

For the past decade, RCAH has more or less been the outcast of the academic community. Its encouragement of free expression over real-world difficulties, its borderline neo-fascist approach for the sake of “tolerance,” and its class dedicated to the art of walking (yes, it’s a real thing) are just a few examples of why it is difficult to take this major seriously. Honestly, how many successful artists actually graduated college? Yet, it seems those same artists are the ones behind the scariest season of American Horror Story to date.

The premise is simple: in a college where everyone’s major is a joke, the students themselves are the laughingstock of campus. They have become literal clowns, and their time for revenge is now. It is horrifying. The students used to parade the streets at night (why is it always at night?), protesting whatever offended them earlier in the day. Now, however, they go door-to-door, dressed in their kooky outfits, stomping in their Birkenstocks, waving their AriZona tea cans, and demanding to know what you are doing about the declining population of bees.

“She’s not a ‘secretary,’ she’s an ‘administrative professional!’”
“It’s called a ‘thought shower!’ ‘Brainstorm’ is a derogatory term towards those that suffer from epilepsy!”
“How are you helping those that are ‘follically challenged?!’”
“Ski Slopes are sexist! Benches are racist!”
Egads.

This is just the tip of the iceberg when the PCCP (politically correct clown posse) really gets going. AHS has captured this entire cultural movement in their new season, and is banking hard on the concept of combating fear and hate with… more fear and hate. The first episode premiered this past Tuesday, and has already taken its toll on the students of MSU. Some of them are afraid to even leave their rooms, which apparently is a microaggression towards those that actually suffer from agoraphobia.

RCAH, more than any other college at MSU, has always had that “cult-y” vibe to it; eccentric clothes, dyed hair, weird hobbies… does it sound like we’re describing a fucking clown?! While we probably won’t stop mocking them behind their backs, we at least will be watching our own after seeing what they are capable of. Stay tuned to American Horror Story this fall on FX.