It’s the first week of the semester, AKA, where you start losing control of your life. That means less midday naps, subzero temperatures, classes you don’t want to be in—oh my! You don’t know how many classes you’re taking, you can’t remember if you’ve seen your roommate since you’ve been back, and someone at Espresso on South U gave you $2 because they thought you were homeless. Here are some other signs you’ve let your semester get away from you, and, maybe after you read them, you can go take a shower:
5.) You don’t even bother cleaning up before your walk of shame:
By walk of shame, this simply means slumping your way home from the Ugli at 6:15 a.m., still covered in Cheeto dust and dried mascara trailing down your cheeks. At this point, what’s the sense of washing your hands off? You can just nap, wake up, and have a snack quite literally at your fingertips.
4.) Your usual weeknight takeout goes from Sadako to Mr. Spots:
Do you even love yourself anymore? Probably not. Are you running out of the money you made over winter break? Probably yes.
3.) You shove all your work into one overfilled notebook and cry about your disorganization:
You color coded your notebooks to match your Google calendar, but that plan flew out the door midway through your first class. Why do bad things happen to good people? Also, which class is this again?
2.) Your regular order at Bert’s is now a triple shot red eye:
The student barista knows you by name (it’s been three days, c’mon) and also knows you’re running dangerously low on Blue Bucks.
1.) When you’re on your third attempt to get a Skeeps VIP card:
Oops, the third time now? You’re just trying reaaaaally hard to forget that you’re at school. But, to be honest, a VIP card wouldn’t be the worst thing to have in life.
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