So it’s the first day of school for like the 15th time, you should have all of this figured out now right? Wrong, you don’t understand fashion! Well lucky for you, The Black Sheep is here to help with a handy-dandy guide for how to impress.
7.) Ross Uniforms:
You know that when you walk into your Econ 102 lecture of 500 people you need to introduce yourself to the professor so they remember your name. But you also know how to dress to impress. You don’t buy clothes at the M Den, you shop at the Victor’s Collection, because you know that cufflinks are worth $30.00 if there’s a wolverine on them. You go, champ! Go show that professor how much style and money you got from your East Coast lawyer dad.
Oh fuck, it’s the first day and class started 20 minutes ago! Good thing you’re reading about what to wear. Just kidding, you don’t have time to be fashionable, if you don’t show up, you’re getting kicked out of the class and that asshole on the waiting list is getting in. Seriously, stop reading and go to class. If you have more time to get ready, still consider wearing your PJs to class. It lets the professor know that you don’t take things too seriously, but you’ll still do at least the bare minimum.
5.) All Michigan Gear:
Wearing all maize and blue with as many Ms on your body as possible lets your professor know how much school spirit you have. You embrace “Leaders and Best” not as a motto, but as a lifestyle, and you want everyone to know about it. Bonus points for complaining about the Orange Bowl.
4.) Your old “Sexy Harbaugh” Costume:
First day of school! Let’s go kick some ass, kiddo! You’re ready to attack the day with an enthusiasm unknown to mankind, give worms machine guns, and climb trees to get recruits all before noon! Don’t forget to yell instead of talking and end every sentence with an exclamation mark! Your professor will see how excited you are to learn and just give you all of your participation points on the spot!
Or, you just can’t decide what to wear, so you wear jeans. Congratulations, you’re just like everyone else. You’re probably going to wear a t-shirt too. So original. Maybe with all your creativity, you’ll go to Chipotle for lunch and then go study in the UgLi. At night, you might let your wild side out and watch Amazon Prime instead of Netflix. You’re a total rebel.
We know what you’re going to say. “I like shorts! They’re comfy and easy to wear!” Whatever. Go back to high school, youngster Joey.
1.) Snowpants, Boots, and a Parka:
Are you going skiing? Are you going snowshoeing? Are you from Florida or California? If you answered “yes” to any of the above questions, have we got an outfit for you! Protect yourself from the cold Michigan weather, while also dying on the Mason Hall stairs by pretending to be an Eskimo! Nothing is warmer than a nice wolverine fur coat, and nothing is better at letting everyone know that you’ve never seen snow before than snowpants. Get yours today!
Send us your #FirstDayofSchool outfit on Twitter @BlackSheep_UM and let us know what you chose to wear.