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Courses that Should be in the Course Guide at the University of Michigan

 

It’s that glorious time of year where we realize we actually do have some power over our future: when the course guide comes out. Unless you’re in Engineering where your destiny is pre-ordained, you can use it to figure out which 300-level humanities to take. But for all the course guide gives, it still lacks some classes. We’ve done our best to help fill it in for all of you wondering what you’re missing.

 

6.) History of Food in the League:
At the moment, there is U-Go’s, a cafe, and visiting restaurants. But did you know that at one time there was a Wendy’s? Or even a Taco Bell? In this class we will discuss the many food options that have at one time or another existed in the League, their significance on Campus, and even speculate about the future of food in the League.

 

5.) Bathrooms, Not Bushes: An Exploration of the Role of E. Royster Harper in the University:
In this class we will discuss the many finer points of E. Royster’s role in the University and explore large questions such as “What is Student Life?”, “Is there a President of Student Life?” Instead of a final paper, we will go deep into the mind of E. Royster Harper and an email addressed to the whole student body.

 

4.) History of Human Sexuality: From Ishtar to Schlissel:
This course explores how human sexuality and symbols of sexuality have progressed over time, beginning in the Ancient World and culminating with the University of Michigan hiring Mark Schlissel. This class will focus on the transition from sex symbols as female, such as Aphrodite, to sex symbols being male, with the current Mark Schlissel, also known as “Daddy.”

 

3.) Letting People Off the Goddam Bus Before You Get On: An Idiot’s Guide to Public Transport:
This class focuses on how not to be an asshole and is designed for all you idiots that have never ridden a bus before. The goal of this class is to teach basic bus etiquette such as letting people off before you get on, wearing deodorant, and not talking on the phone. Note: This class is required for all freshmen living on North Campus.

 

2.) Walking on the Right Side of the Stairs: Learning to Move Between Floors:
This course can, and should be taken in tandem with “Letting People off the Goddam Bus before You Get On: An Idiot’s Guide to Public Transport”. Many students around campus will, when going up or down stairs, choose to walk on whichever side is open. What problems does this create? Can we fix these problems? Do people really not understand how stairs work? These questions and more will be answered in this discussion based class. Open to all years.

 

1.) Finding a Seat in North Quad: Practical Strategies for the Student Diner:
In this class we will attempt equip students with the necessary knowledge to answer the question “Where should I sit in North Quad for lunch?” Strategies used will be: ignoring the Michigan app and its lies, sitting next to people you don’t know, and sitting at the bar-type thing by the windows.

 

If you want to see these classes next year and beyond, let CSG know at [email protected] Who knows, your suggestion might get shot down by the Regents. At least then you have another thing to complain about!

 

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