Hello party people, The Black Sheep is here to get your mind, liver and soul prepared for the most tumultuous and inebriated day of the year, second only to every single Saturday in the Fall. Now you may be thinking, “OMG, it will be under 50 degrees, does this mean I have to wear pants??????” The answer is, sadly, yes. In addition to pants, there are several other necessities you will need for this day permanently stained with green food coloring. Here we go ladies and gents: our St. Fratty’s Day checklist.
7.) Fanny pack:
If you have ever dartied or even considered dartying, a fanny pack is a necessity. Where else are you supposed to hold all of your items and how else are your friends supposed to attach a lease to you? It is a retro revival and a true sign of a Victor. We are strong proponents of the Manny Pack as well, which is something we totally didn’t just make up.
6.) Crushed up water bottle of beverage:
Recently certain regulations have been updated, so this St. Patty’s, in order to keep yourself hydrated, be sure to carry some liquids with you at all times! Just make sure to not call a midget a leprechaun or throw up on the mechanical bull, plz n’ thnx.
5.) Baby wipes:
Let’s be honest—nowhere will have toilet paper. So if you’re tryna get frisky and don’t wanna be gross, this is 100% your best option. Are we talking about pooping or sex? You be the judge!
4.) Lack of inhibition:
You’re going to pull this one off on your own, so just keep being you and just keep doing you. If you managed to hold on to your inhibitions after freshman year, we have total faith in your lack of humility and shame Michiganians.
5.) Handcuff key:
This goes hand in hand with your lack of inhibition. You will do something massively stupid and in the event of that this will definitely come in handy. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to this, but, hey, you never know when you’ll need to tuck ‘n roll out of a cop car and back into Rick’s.
2.) Pot of gold:
This was an attempt to be punny, sorry. It means pot like pot, like doing the marijuanas. You get the idea—hit your people up. Glad it’s decriminalized in Ann Arbor!
1.) Shamrock glasses to block the haters:
The real reason for this is that when you stumble into Pizza House after the festivities you don’t want them to know when you are napping while sitting up at the table. It has happened, they don’t appreciate it.
Remember, the most important part of dartying is that you try your best and have fun, and everyone gets a participation trophy (terrible hangover).