Top 5 Names to Replace the C.C Little Building at University of Michigan

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At this point, it’s a pretty well known fact around campus that C.C Little was not all that cool of a dude. He was the president of the American Eugenics Society, which means he thought that dumb people should be sterilized, and not, in fact, that he studied people named Eugene. He was also a leading voice of the tobacco industry and claimed that cigarettes are perfectly healthy for you. Some people on campus have already started a petition to rename his building, so here are some suggestions to add to the mix: 

5.) Daddy Schlissel’s Playhouse:

It’s been too long with a weirdly sexual Schlissel reference so why not make every day have a weirdly sexual Schlissel reference. But honestly, come on, just look at the man. That sculpted nose, the flowing beard, the eyes that tell a thousand tales with a single glance. No matter if he goes down as a good or bad president, it’s still better than a eugenicist.

4.) David. M Dennison Hall:

After Dennison’s legacy was torn away by the uncaring claws of the university, hundreds of students rose up to protest. Why not honor one of our finest graduates by giving him a building again? It’s doubtful that he-who-shall-not-be-named will give up his hard won building easily, but, like elephants, Michigan students never forget and never forgive. #HisNameIsDennison

3.) The Central Campus Transit Center Building:

No matter what the building is named, the CCTC will still get the shaft. Nobody respects it for what it is and either calls it “C.C Little” or even just “the bus stop on central. No, the big one by C.C Little.” It’s time that the CCTC gets the respect it deserves. It carries thousands, if not tens of thousands of passengers through its pearly gates each day, and never complains. For a job done that well, it should be rewarded.

2.) Apollo 15 and Gemini 4 Center for Scientific Research:

All of the astronauts on the Apollo 15 and Gemini 4 missions were U of M graduates. Why not celebrate them? They represent the two greatest things about the university: 1) their outstanding achievements, as shown by them going ot the goddamn moon, and 2) the unprecedented level of arrogance, as shown by them placing a plaque there and creating the only alumni chapter on the moon. If anyone deserves it, it’s them.

1.) Bill Ayers and Ted Kaczynski Center for Domestic Terrorism:

Why not replace one controversial name with two others? While Ted Kaczynski has a plaque in East Hall for his mathematical achievements, why not give him a building for his groundbreaking work, “Industrial Society and Its Future”? And if Ted has a plaque, why doesn’t Bill? Bill killed people too, but he got away with it. Shouldn’t we reward that kind of ingenuity? C.C Little has had a building for this long, but it’s now known he’s a bad dude. Bill Ayers led a domestic terror group and got away with it. If you can get caught for a crime, you suck at it. And if you suck, do you even deserve a building?

All in all, it doesn’t really matter what C.C Little gets renamed to, as long as it’s something cool. Bad dudes don’t deserve a building.

We’re not bad dudes, we’ve just done bad things…listen to our podcast!